Monthly Archives: July 2017

Manipulator

Well, now I am royally pissed. I spoke with my father a few hours ago to follow up on whether mom started the Parkinson's meds. Dad sounded extremely frustrated and tired. After peppering him with questions, including "Why the fuck isn't she on the new meds?", he said mom wants to only take the deer placenta supplements, and she has decided to stay up in Taipei (even though their retirement home is in Kaohsiung). He said she is going to do what she wants to do. And then I got it. Fucking Johnny! Goddamn asshole.

So now it's almost 1am, and I am fuming. So goddamn angry. Especially having recently watched Betting on Zero, a documentary about a hedge fund manager going after Herbalife for their questionable practices, I'm so freaking. enraged. I started drafting an email:

***

http://bettingonzeromovie.com/

You are a worldclass manipulator. It is beyond me why mom much less anyone should listen to you and follow ANY of your health advice when you have zero medical training and zero science background. You act like you are some Buddhist lover of humanity, but you have only given her and our family a lifetime of pain. Your bullshit is never ending.

Bc of your special status as the first born, you have the unique privilege of influencing her decision-making such that she is choosing to trust a scammer like you over people who have loved and cared for her her entire life. 

Western medicine and pharmaceutical companies are not to blame for killing people. It's people like you who are taking advantage of the elderly and the weak, promising them hope and miracles and unicorns all while misleading, robbing, and isolating them from those who truly love them. I am not blind to your selfish motivations.

If doctors and drug companies are scamming people for money, wtf are YOU doing? Your product costs $400/bottle/month in Taiwan where the average monthly income is $1,300. Your shit isn't even covered by insurance so way to make this "life-changing supplement" accessible. If your intentions with mom are so good, why don't you just charge her at your own product cost? You are an opportunist and a fucking liar. Everything you involve yourself with is cult-like, insincere, and fake. I will never trust you, and it's too bad mom is cognitively impaired and unable to make sound decisions.

In case you need a reminder, I am familiar with your track record. World Finance Group. Your bullying, "Buddhist" club that kept urging me to pay an annual membership fee even though I don't even live in the city to participate in its membership meetings and activities. Now this Riway deer placenta nonsense.

Mom needs to take her Parkinson's meds, you asshole. I took her to a legit neurologist, not some voodoo quack David Koresh "master."

Let's not forget how you have subjected her to nearly half a century of heartache– that which surely has contributed to her emotional, mental, and physical decline. How convenient that now you can step in and offer her a "solution"… and an expensive one at that. I have critical thinking skills and independent judgement, and I will fight you to the end.
***

I'm going to sleep in this, but I'm telling you. Is it any wonder why I have sworn off kids? He is a fucking neverending nightmare. I mean, he has now made Taiwan entirely toxic for me. I do not feel comfortable having my mother live under his influence, and I don't want her getting medical care there either. The medicine there is just not as advanced as in the States. I'm feeling like I want them to move to California esp bc I don't want them dealing with my con-man brother. Even if they can filter his bullshit, it's not good for them.

But what can I say. My mother is retarded when it comes to defending her son. And if she insists on staying there and being manipulated, no one can help her. She's a lost cause. Man, is this why dad has dragged ass about moving there full time? Was he trying to limit her exposure? I dunno. So damn complicated.

Can’t Be Bothered

I was lamenting to my friend M the other day that being in startup mode makes me hyper sensitive to inconvenience. Like I’m so much in the zone, that I just don’t want to be bothered with anything. Examples? A trip to Europe with Bubbey. Or maintaining my side shave. Or going away for the weekend. Or eating lunch. Or continuing that skateboarding class. Or cooking at home. Or getting a dog, even. I just want to focus on building my biz.

And something about that feels so weird. I mean, not so much the vacation or hairstyle or that stuff: I’ve always been reluctant to take time off and leave work… but definitely something seems amiss with the dog thing. I mean, I love dogs so damn much. They have been such a huge part of my life, and to think that I don’t want to experience that relationship and that joy simply bc I don’t want to be distracted feels really narrow-minded. It bugs me too that already we have talked about getting a dog first around my bday in June and then that got postponed to August and now we’re talking about pushing it off again…

I really want to understand why this was happening. Sure, I’m very serious about my business. But seeing as I have been Rovering since Marty died, obviously, I can handle dog care AND the biz concurrently. Then, I was thinking about this mild fear that the new dog won’t live up to my expectations. I mean, after all, I am my parents’ daughter, so the comparison game is all up in my blood. Is that fair to the new doggie that s/he be compared to Remy and Martin, my angels on Earth? And then of course, there are the logistics. I mean, caring for an animal is a big commitment for another 10-15 years and with the overseas relatives and elderfolks and what have you, it can get complicated. Nothing we haven’t juggled before, but like I said, I’m super sensitive about my lifestyle right now.

M said maybe this all just means I need to give myself more time. I’ll do it when I’m ready. But I’m really bothered by my aversion to inconvenience. It’s such a shitty attitude! Some things are worth the bother! For example, I’ve always complained about going home for Christmas and/or blowing my PTO visiting family in Taiwan… It’s always SO much trouble, traveling during the holidays and shuttling around from place to place. But in retrospect, what I’ve realized this year is that if I had given in to my feelings of annoyance and dread, I would have missed some very important final moments with people we love. I did those things prompted by obligation and by compromise but ultimately, it was the right decision. And I feel like getting a dog might be a similar vein.

The point is, as much as I value independence and freedom to do whatever the fuck I want, I’m also a firm believer that there is value in the struggle. Discomfort = growth. Plus, you know the Chinese LOVE the concept of “eating bitter.” The more sacrifice, the sweeter the reward. Ha!

Long story short, I started looking at the puppy porn again this evening. I got Remy when she was six months and Marty we got when he was like 2 y/o. I always thought the next dog would still be an adult. But then I started perusing Copper’s Dream. OMFG. I mean, look at these faces. Already I have like three or four PUPPIES on my short list. Look how beautiful Rhea is!! Great Dane/Pointer. She’s gonna be biggins. Or maybe we’ll do the foster-to-adopt route with Zoey 2. Shit man, it’s like midnight and now I have a major case of puppy fever!!!

Practically speaking, we do have a lot of travel coming up: Wilmington this month, then Seattle/Vancouver and Austin in September, then Taiwan (maybe Seoul enroute) in November… I’m running out of time with my Companion Pass and I want to hit up Portland again, maybe Idaho, Chicago, and Wisconsin… Eek. And work: I gotta get more deals!! Argh. We’ll just have to juggle and make it all fit somehow. Sometimes, the juice is worth the squeeze.

Another Weekend, Another Open House

So I spoke with my bud G recently, and she asked me how much I was working. I always feel like I can be more efficient than I am, so I kinda just threw out 45-55 hrs. I mean, sure, I’ve been saying that I am in Startup Mode, but I dunno: I haven’t really been tallying my hours and it’s kinda hard for me to estimate if I don’t really have productivity/results, you know?

So afterwards, I asked John just to see what his gauge was. He was like, “Um, it’s way more than that. I mean, what else have you been doing other than real estate?” Ok, touche. Yes, I seriously have been living, breathing, eating real estate. So fine. He guesstimated at least 70 hrs/week. I suppose I have been working every day of the week. And like today, I had a buyer consult in the morning followed by my open house, followed by research/emails all evening to try and “win the buyers” before their decision tomorrow…

It’s weird, bc I really do lose track of time. Like both my dad and Bubbey are telling me to step away and get some rest. But I’m in the zone! And there’s always so much to think about. I suppose the good news is that I am liking all this stuff. The bad news is, I’m really concerned about scoring my next deal, esp now that I will be away for seven days in North Carolina. I have a major fear of losing momentum.

My buyer consult this morning went well. At least I felt it did. I was meeting a Chinese couple– the guy used to work with Bubs. And Bubs, on learning that they were researching investment properties, actually plugged me to them! OMG, J and I got into a fight about it too, bc I was relaxing a few days ago and didn’t reply immediately to the guy’s email to set up a meeting. In fact, I was crafting a reply within 15-20 minutes of getting his message, and I was proofreading my reply just as I always do (I used to work in communications, for fuck’s sake!), and Bubs jumped on me about taking too damn long. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I was so goddamn pissed. I ask him to do a few things and he drags ass for DAYS and eventually never even gets my requests done. Now he’s harping on me about taking 20 minutes? Fuck off. I was so angry by the audacity. Seriously. I’ve been busting my ass, doing real estate since November. He plugs me to a friend/acquaintance for maybe the THIRD time ever, and I’m supposed to drop everything? I was SUPER angry.

Anyway, I met with the couple this morning. We had a good intro conversation for nearly an hour. I mean, the conversation flowed naturally and easily, but of course, I had anxiety all last night. Couldn’t sleep then woke up with all kinds of bowel issues. I crammed a bunch of data and stats before 9 am. I’m telling you, I never know what to expect so I over prepare like a crazy woman.

Anyway, I tried to do what Bubbey suggested to me before, which is to demonstrate my knowledge/competence through storytelling and anecdotes rather than just unemotional, factual statements. So for example, we talked about preparing strong offer packages and I mentioned what I did with my last buyers to help them win. Then we talked about crime/safety and I shared how someone at my open house was all concerned about seeing trash scavengers or RVs parked on the street. I explained how the crime reports/heat maps provide some information but ultimately, safety is subjective. People have different tolerances: like scavengers and RVs would freak my parents out but most tech millennials I encounter at the open houses don’t seem to mind a little bit of scruff in the ‘hood. And they laughed when I mentioned my safety-obsessed parents bc they could relate.

They were also concerned about HOA docs and inspection reports. I said that part of my role is to identify what issues are serious and legit and worth negotiating with the seller. I explained that a lot of times first-time buyers worry about every little thing that comes up in the reports, bc they don’t really have a grasp of its severity and the cost to fix it. I once combed through a report that said the electrical panel was a brand that had malfunction issues. Is it a fire hazard? Does it need to be replaced? Look: this is not a new house. The sellers have been living with that panel and using it for six years without issue. Not going to be addressed.

They asked how well I know the neighborhoods in San Mateo. It’s been eight years since I lived there but I have several friends in the area and all of them live in condo/TH communities. Then I rattled those places off… so yeah, I really tried to elaborate with personal info rather than just give yes/no answers.

After the meeting, I drove off to prep for my open house. It was another scorcher of a day and the property had no A/C. Once again, placing my signs was a beotch. MV is such a pain bc there are no good places to park near the intersections, so I have to drive a ways off, find a lot or space, and then walk back or cross the train tracks or whatever. And my Dr. Scholls loafers are giving me blisters, so there’s that. And then at the open house, it was busy yesterday but totally dead today until the final hour. Then a bunch of people came at once and I didn’t gather all their info bc I was talking to one couple while the other two ran off. And then, every. damn. time when I’m closing up shop after 4pm, someone shows up wanting to have a look. Mind you, all the lights are off and I packed away my flyer and snacks and supplies… fucking A. So annoying but I always let them look. Needless to say, I never finish my open houses on time and then I’m like hot, sweating, hungry, tired and I have to get those fucking signs again. Yeah, I was cranky today.

After I got home, I had to write the post-session report (I always get compliments from the listing agents for my detail and thoroughness) and then follow up with visitors. Around 7pm, I took a break to watch Married at First Sight and cram my piehole. Then, I was thinking more about my buyer consult this morning. After our meeting, I had sent a thank you email and they replied that they would be making a decision tomorrow. I was going to just wait and hear the news tomorrow. Then, OCD Vix kicked in. I mean, have I done everything possible to get the gig? Nope. So I culled together all these stats and ran a bunch of searches and scanned through properties. Seriously. Excel spreadsheets, line graphs, then the explanatory email, edited a gabillion times, blah, blah. Next thing you know it’s 11 pm. But I HAD to do it, bc I knew if I got bad news tomorrow, I would only beat myself up about it.

Oh btw, laptop update. You know how I got a new laptop bc my other one wonked out in the middle of my transaction? Well new lappie finally arrived (a week late) and I immediately fell in love with it. Now it has an audio problem. A component issue that can only be repaired by shipping it in and by being out of commission for two weeks. Um, my laptop is my livelihood. I cannot have NO laptop for two weeks. HP would not help me out, so now I had to purchase a second laptop so that I can move my data from this one to the new one and then return the defective one. Meanwhile, the second laptop still hasn’t shipped. Argh. Technology fail, but at least I can return bc it’s within the return period.

Ok, time to wind it down.

What’s Important

I called my parents in Taiwan this afternoon to remind my father to have the doctor there prescribe Parkinson’s meds for mom. I explained that I had spoken with a few people about the lesser known variants of Parkinson’s and turns out, immediate response to the meds confirms the disease.

He agreed to discuss with the doctor at her appointment tomorrow. Then he asked about this weekend. I said John was back East again, and I was doing open houses. He sounded surprised I was working again… he shouldn’t be surprised but I dunno, he was. Then, he made another unexpected statement. He said he was proud of me. Then he added, “but what’s most important is that you show concern and care for us.” I’m telling you. This aging shit is a game changer. I mean, to be honest, I almost don’t even know how to respond to this level of acknowledgement. I feel like my whole life I have been trying to show my parents that their energies and efforts and investments were NOT wasted on me. Even when they were visiting recently, anytime my father mentioned his friends, as soon as he said their names, he would follow with their kids’ names and their kids’ cv. Seriously. Like last week, he told me this story about how his friend has been trying to convince dad to sell his own real estate in Maryland. Like do a For Sale by Owner. Omfg. “So XYZ was trying to tell me to do FSBO. His daughter Jennifer is an orthopedic surgeon at Hopkins, and his son is a PhD of biochemistry at Harvard.” Blah blah, that is seriously how the conversation went.

So it is really weird now to hear that he is happy my real estate career is growing, but that’s not what’s important. I mean, clearly he and mom were very grateful for their visit. They genuinely had a good time, and my dad sounded kinda vulnerable saying these things to me. That said, it’s a welcome reversal and yet it feels so foreign. Yeah, I’m still kinda perplexed tbh.

The Subtlety of Sexism

Remember several months ago when I complained that John and I would basically communicate the same things to our bathroom contractor but then the old dude would not understand me but totally get John? And yet we said the same exact information? I complained about it in my blog, bc yet again, I was a woman not being taken seriously, not being listened to, and not being understood. It reminded me a bit of Shanghai when my uncle there would listen to John and me conversing in English, and he insisted that I spoke English with a Chinese accent. John would laugh it off and tell him that my grammar and English skills were way better than his (I was also teaching English as a Second Language at the Arlington Literacy Council), and they still didn’t believe my English proficiency was native level. (I was born in Maryland, btw.)

Well something similar happened again recently. I was over at the house I sold meeting with my buyers and a Chinese contractor they invited to survey the kitchen for renovation. The contractor was Chinese, so I spoke in Mandarin, talking about the load bearing wall and other layout options. I had prepared for the meeting beforehand by culling through tons of home pics on the MLS. I looked for similar home styles in the same neighborhood and then reviewed their interior photos to get ideas for how other owners updated their kitchens. So when I was onsite I told the contractor: one idea I saw was that the people walled up one of the THREE doors to the kitchen so visitors would come in via the front door, walk down a short hallway, and then turn left to see the open concept kitchen. It was better flow. The contractor even commented that my vocabulary was surprisingly advanced bc I used the word “flow.” Anyway, the meeting continued and then at the end, my buyer said he liked the contractor’s idea to seal up the door to the kitchen. Say what? Dude, that was MY suggestion. The meeting ended and I was a little bugged that once again a woman’s comment not only got dismissed but was subsequently credited to a man. Whatever. I went home and shrugged it off. Maybe the buyer got confused and thought the contractor mentioned it.

Then this week, I drove by the house and I saw the same contractor parked in the driveway. I came out and chatted. He showed me the work they started. Then, he specifically said, “we adopted your idea to remove the door and flow the kitchen this way.”

I felt so redeemed. I mean, maybe this comes across as some small, petty, insignificant thing. Think what you will. I know these moments add up. These subtle, seemingly insignificant instances are why women still don’t have equal representation in corporate leadership. This is why women continue to earn less for the same work. Smh. It might not have been deliberate or intentional. The point is, sexism persists. Women still have a ways to go. The next time I meet the buyers, I will have to express pride in seeing my suggestion come to fruition. Haha.

Hungry Squirrels

July 10 was a big day for me. First, my deal closed and I handed my buyers their keys. Then, both Bubbey and my parents descended into the town. Bubbey had been on a 10-day jaunt through Europe with his sister (he LOVED the trip!!), and my parents were stopping off in the Bay Area for a week before heading back to Taiwan. What else. Stormy went home that day. It was a good friend’s bday. And it was Amazon Prime Day. Kind of a lot of things all at once, you know?

So the week with the parentals went well: I mean, probably the BEST it has ever gone. Obviously, we have had an extremely conflict-ridden and tumultuous past, so it was both a relief and kind of a shock to just get along for that duration. I know, it sounds so simple, but what can I say, my family relationships haven’t been easy.

I suspect the biggest explanation for this shift is that aging and fragility changes things. I swear my parents used to push ALL my buttons, and then we would argue and yell and I was adamant about always getting in the last word, always winning the argument. Admittedly, I was ruthless. There was an anger inside me that was convinced everything I said and did, no matter how hurtful, was righteous bc it was honest. But things are so different now. My father appears so much smaller, frailer, older that before. He is still mentally sharp and quite lucid, but he is not as ambitious, not as gung ho. He still is kinda preachy with his stories and he will always try to impart lessons/life wisdom but he’s less rigid. And my mom: when I look at her, her eyes convey some spaciness, some confusion. She giggles for no apparent reason. She no longer feels like my nemesis. Rather, she is a harmless old lady. Since her medical issues, they don’t bicker like they used do. Dad is much more patient with her. He explains things over and over, but without the previous irritation. There is a palpable tenderness in how he guides her and cares for her. Their relationship is better bc as J even expressed: they have both just chilled so much the fuck out. It is a dramatic change. I mean, I really had so many decades of conflict and escalating situations… it’s mind blowing to evolve into a relationship that is entirely the opposite of what it used to be. I’m sure mortality and life experience brings about this new perspective. I feel, again that my 40s are so very different from my 30s and 20s. When I interact with my younger friends, I often see bits of my former self inside them: I was such the activist, so insistent on right and wrong, so unyielding with my judgments of others… I realize now just how complicated life is. Just how complex people and relationships are. I still feel a strong natural pull towards this idea of radical honesty… but I also see that other people, even those who hold beliefs or ideas that I oppose, they have pain and hardship and struggle. Life is a beotch for all of us– to varying degrees and in different realms. But there is emotion and feeling even among the most stoical of beings. Ultimately, kindness matters. I have to say, one of the biggest lessons I learned in marriage counseling was that being right isn’t the most important thing, esp among people you love.

So what all did I DO with my family? I continued to work, and some days J was kind enough to hang with my parents. He took them to the Chinese market. We drove them around the neighborhoods. We toured a few homes in MV. I thought maybe we would work on that plan of trying to get them to buy out here, but it’s not happening. Not only is Dad turned off by the price, but Taiwan really is home to them. We found a few tasty Asian spots. We also got steamed dungeness crabs. We made dinner at home and ate out on the patio and sipped some wine. Funny thing: I never really consider J and me as people who are super good at being happy and at enjoying life, but I suppose relative to my parents, we’re like total sybarites. Ah well, that’s a compliment. I’m tired of being chronic mal-contents: there is so much to be grateful for. What else: we took them to play bocce ball, which I introduced to my dad last January when he visited us solo. He LOVES bocce ball. I almost feel like I need to find someone in Taiwan to build dad a court. We also watched some Chinese movies. See? We did so many chill-out things. And I have to say: J is AMAZING with my parents. He truly is such a wonderful son. He asks them things, really engages in conversation with them, he pays attention to things they like… it really filled my heart with joy seeing how kind and genuine he is with them.

As for the logistical things: we took mom to the neurologist at PAMF. I was very pleased, bc he was ultra thorough. He ran the cognitive test, reviewed all her brain scans, and talked with us extensively (for an hour!!). In the end, the good news is that he said her condition is not advanced enough to be dementia. He says she has mild cognitive impairment, which frequently but doesn’t always, leads to some kind of dementia. Observing her interactions and movement, he suggested Parkinsons or a derivative. Then, based on her MRIs, he recommended putting her on stroke-prevention meds. The other recommendations were to walk a lot, stay physically active, and then see neurology specialists about potential Parkinsons. I really like this doc, but the sad news is that my parents are now back in Taiwan and I mean, who knows what kind of medical care they are getting back there. J’s dad also had some form of Parkinsons, and the way that was confirmed was by him taking the meds and seeing a dramatic improvement. I’m going to tell dad to try that with mom and then beyond that, I suppose just up the exercise and social stimulation. At this point, I suppose quality of life trumps all the medical stuff.

I did notice that mom was crazy hungry, esp late at night. Some evenings, I would awake to hear rummaging in the kitchen. Dad was like looking for cereal and nuts for her; mom then got a hold of John’s nougat from Europe (my parents never eat sweets) and devoured that… it was really weird. J and I started calling them hungry squirrels bc of the late night binging. I dunno if it’s her meds or what…

Anyway, I gotta run to my open house now, but overall, we had a good visit. There are more unanswered questions about the future but I suppose the answers aren’t coming anytime soon, so might as well let them simmer.

 

Officially Old

So my friend G is turning 40 next month, and she’s kinda freaking out bc everyone she knows warns there is a noticeable shift when you turn 40. I’m sure some part of her thinks her friends are being overly dramatic, that there isn’t really a threshold that gets crossed… I suppose everyone has a different experience, but if I’m just speaking for J and me, turning 40 was not just some imaginary threshold. Shit got real. Big. Time. Some examples? First off, remember when Bubs tore his calf muscle just from getting out of his office chair to answer the doorbell? Yeah, even the doctor was incredulous bc typically that kind of muscle tear happens when people are running a race and you know, just busting out too fast from the starting blocks. As if we’ve done ANY kind of running in the last ten years of our lives. SMH.

Another example? Bubbey just ordered progressive eyeglasses. I mean, sure he got them from hipster shop Warby Parker. That does NOT erase the fact that he now needs special lenses that allow him to read books. OMFG.

Meanwhile, I am not faring much better. My skin and hair are going to the dumps. I dunno if it’s the stress of a new career or what, but shit is losing elasticity and luster. Also, I had to go to the doctor recently to talk about excruciating foot pain. Yeah, multiple times in a month, I got a shooting pain in the center of my foot. It was almost like a charlie horse or muscle spasm except that pulling back my big toe did nothing to alleviate the pain. And the pain lasted for several minutes. OMG it hurt so badly. Naturally, I did my own research on WebMD and between that and my grandma and dad having gout, I was convinced I had consumed too much purine-rich foods and screwed myself over. Well, the doctor immediately said no to the gout. And then he asked to look at my shoes. I was wearing my red Timberland wedges which I love and never had issues wearing before… until I turned 40. Yeah, those are the culprit, the doc says. The footbed slope is too high. So basically, I was told to take Advil and to do special toe stretch exercises, which essentially entail me putting my pedicure toe separators on my feet. And now I have spent like two hours scouring all the online shoe sites searching for decent looking old lady shoes. It. Is. Exhasperating. I am looking at all the old white lady country club brands: Rockport, Easy Spirit, Aerosoles, Clarks, Dr. Scholls, Hush Puppies… I ordered four pairs from Macy’s and only one pair from that lot might work. I’ve ordered another four pairs from 6pm. We’ll see how those do. Fucking A.

In other news, the lease for my Bimmer is coming up at the end of the year. J insists that I need a bigger car to schlep around all my realtor cargo. Those fucking open house signs are so fucking bulky plus the prep bins plus my mobile command center… So he has compiled a list of SUVs. Since my car will be a tax deductible business expense, I’ll likely do a lease. Still, I’m a cheap mofo and after looking at all the SUVs, I’m now leaning towards a mini-van. Yes, this is perhaps THE ultimate indicator that I am an old beotch, bc I just don’t fucking care anymore! My friend K commented that we will be the world’s ONLY childfree couple living the minivan lifestyle. Truth. That said, the minivan pretty much has the same cargo space as the SUV PLUS better gas mileage PLUS quieter transmission PLUS slider doors. And Bubbey has been hankering for a minivan for a long while (See? He’s old too.). I mean, at the point that I am having to wear orthopedic shoes, I might as well just give in to being an all around frump-a-dump. Seriously.

Get Beaver

So I’ve been dogsitting a supremely well-behaved standard poodle named Stormy. I know, I’m usually not a fan of poodles bc of their ridic haircuts, but I mean, I can’t blame her for her parents’ actions. She’s smart and playful and just youthful. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a young-in in the house. She really does draw us out to play and run around. I imagine that’s what child-rearing also does… it really forces you to get out and do things. You just have to find a way to wear them down and use up all that energy. It’s like a constant game of energy management.

So Stormy’s favorite past time appears to be playing with toys. Her parents gave her two toys and then I have this beaver stuffed animal that Martin used to like. Stormy LOVES the beaver. So everyday since June, I’ve been running around the backyard chasing after the dog telling her to “bring me beaver” or “go get beaver” or “where’s beaver.” Now, you know me: I tend to be very sheltered, naive, and gullible, but shit, even I feel a little embarrassed and concerned about being overheard by the neighbors. It sounds potentially sketchy/dirty, right? Or am I confusing it with something else? I dunno. I could be getting all worked up over nothing. Don’t ask me to Google anything. I’m not about to adulterate my brand new laptop with inappropriate images.

Anyway, I haven’t played chase in a hushed voice or anything. I mean, I’m taking the innocent route. Plus, Stormy just loves it.

Yesterday, for the holiday, I went to my friends’ C & C’s house. These people. My god. Their home in SJ is like an entertainment facility. The lot is double our size and they have this massive deck plus arbor and lots of outdoor seating. I mean, I came up on the house and there were signs pointing me to the backyard entrance. Bit surprising considering that C is the ultimate organizer. There were three different drink stations… you can tell these folks host a LOT of parties. They are very active in their church too, so like 50 people over is like a regular occurrence. And he’s an amazing cook. I had so much good food: pulled pork sandwiches, homemade cole slaw, homemade custard dessert, fruit-filled jellos… it was a nice party. Since I was solo and didn’t really know anyone else, C was sweet enough to hang with me a bit. He was also so kind with telling everyone I’m a realtor. I was feeling a little shy about it. I mean, I dunno: this wasn’t one of those parties where people were saying what they do…

I met a friend of his who is a volunteer puppy parent to the Wounded Warrior Project. She hosts puppies who are in training to become service doggies to vets. I met her current doggie Copper. Those dogs go through like a $20k training program, so if any of them come up with health issues of any kind, they get kicked out since the investment is so high and it’s unlikely the vets will be able to pay for expensive medical costs. Anyway, Copper was the sweetest thing. Bubs has been mentioning getting some kind of a retriever again… I can see the appeal: those goldies are just always smiling. Needless to say, I’m back in puppy fever mode, and I’ll be looking at puppy porn very soon.[FAG id=7513]

The Startup Lifestyle

There are no two ways about it: I am currently living the startup lifestyle. I say that not to glamorize anything, but rather to describe the 24/7 live, breathe, eat-mentality of my current season. Having worked for a startup many years back and well, being the spouse of a serial startupper, it’s times like these when I’m so grateful to be childfree. Seriously, if we had kids, they would surely starve and die bc my tunnelvision is no joke. Remember how I gave myself UTI as a kid? Yeah. Even now as an adult, I will forget to eat. I’m not bragging about it: it’s not a good thing, but I’m just crazy that way.

Part of it is that neither J nor I have ever been good at balancing and compartmentalizing. We are also chronic overthinkers and in some facets, we are perfectionists. So being in this place where the work and industry is new and I’m not knowledgeable or experienced, it taps into insecurities that I can only counter with work obsession. And then bc it’s like my own business, there are a gabillion other things to keep afloat, like what’s my next lead gen activity, what’s my marketing piece, how do I figure out closing gifts, what am I doing to cultivate existing leads, etc. Like I was supposed to start farming new neighborhoods with mailers, but I haven’t done any of that. And I need to be doorknocking again… it never ends. The good part is that I like working. The bad part is I can get very single-tracked when I’m in the zone.

For example, ever since J left his last startup a year ago, he’s wanted to hit up Europe. But I had that sales prospecting class in May and then things finally started to warm up… I just wouldn’t take the time off. Honestly, I just want to keep pounding. Thankfully, Bubs realized soon enough that he needed to make his plans without me, and he was fully prepared to travel solo. Then Susan decided to join last minute. They get along well together, and given the last year they’ve had, I’m happy she is accompanying him.

So while Bubs is on his European jaunt, I’m holding down the fort. Still scheduling open houses every weekend. I’m aiming for one in-office appointment per week. I’m also dogsitting Stormy (16 days). She’s a great dog, who is active and playful but also I’m so glad she’s super low maintenance. It’s working out well.

I have to say, I’m very excited for my first commission check coming July 10. I’ve been basically bootstrapping the business since late November: between association memberships and dues, office fees, equipment, infrastructure, gas, etc… it all adds up. After almost 8 months in, I’ve racked up about $8k in expenses. Yeah, my laptop crapped out and so I needed a new one. Same with our home printer. Plus gas from all that shuttling around… It’ll be nice to get my first chunk of change. That said, I’m already itching for the next deal…

Today is July 4. I already made a followup call to some potential buyers who came in for a consultation last night. Mind you, my colleague referred them to me earlier this week bc the clients wanted a Chinese-speaking agent. Wowee, they were REALLY Chinese. So the entire meeting was done in Mandarin. I felt like I communicated decently with them, but there was definitely a little bit of Taboo going around, where I didn’t have the specific real estate terminology so I had to describe around it…

In preparation, I had called my parents the night before and I had also consulted Google translate, but they weren’t much help. Today, the buyers are backing off a bit, a little gun shy, bc they are first-time homebuyers and the house they’re keen on needs fumigation (NBD for this area) and a new roof, among other repairs. My colleague wants to still put on the gas and retain them as clients… I dunno. We’ll see where that goes.

I’m headed to a BBQ tonight and while I’m down in San Jose, I’m going to preview a few homes in the area where the buyers are looking. Might as well be efficient about my travel time. 🙂

Paper Pushing

In my trainings, there’s this saying: “The fortune is in the followup.” Yes, project management and followup is one of my biggest strengths. It IS my jam. But man, with real estate transactions, that shit is taken to a whole other level. I mean, I have never talked on my phone so damn much in my life, and every day, there is so much checking on the status of this, pushing and prodding for that, trying to get docs here and there. Man. I am amazed how businesses get things done, bc I am seeing a lot of inefficiencies and schedule creep. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’ve met a lot of really nice and helpful people. But that said, I’m realizing that every transaction involves a shit ton of players. Yes, that’s why the pie gets sliced up into so many different pieces. There are SO many people from each party. It’s mind-boggling. And I dunno, I’m getting the feeling that the constant back and forth is very much just the nature of the business. Sigh.

My hope is that as I meet more people and learn more about their personal workstyles, ultimately, I can create tribes where the people working together gel and move things along at a more consistent pace with matching levels of urgency.

I swear, for two weeks I had THE worst time getting ahold of the solar company and every time I pushed them for docs, I was told flatly, “we’re working on it.” No ETD, nothing. It seriously drove me bonkers.  Clearly, I’m still just learning how the sausage gets made.

Sure, the July 4 holiday is also throwing a monkey wrench into things, what with people taking off days to make it a long weekend… I dunno. I’m in full-on intense work mode, so I guess it’s hard for me to be more understanding. I want to hit the iron while it’s hot and all, you know?

I hustled really hard this week to keep up my open house hosting streak, but I was only able to score for Sunday. Just as well, I had a friend’s separation anxiety dog over for several hours on Friday and Saturday night. Today, it was nice too to sleep in and putz around the house. After cleaning the house and watching too many episodes of Married at First Sight (yes, I’m back on that wagon), I previewed a number of homes and also prepped for the open house tomorrow. Overall, it was a chill day.

Tomorrow, I’m hosting another condo/townhouse property– this time in Santa Clara. Naturally, I skimmed through the disclosures and HOA policies (so many darn rules!) and reviewed comps. My brain is stuffed full of data. Tomorrow it’s time to turn the charm back on: Wish me luck. Hope buyers come out in full force.