In the last few years as I’ve encountered death and grieving with increasing frequency, I have learned a few things about acknowledgement and simple gestures. Coming from a family who’s atheist and on top of that, completely stoical and non celebratory, I used to think that flowers and cards and small gifts were extraneous and overly ritualistic.

But my friend N grew up in a very different household. They celebrated Christmas AND Hanukkah. They always sent cards and postcards and magnets during the holidays and whenever they traveled. At first, it all seemed rather silly and frivolous. Over time though, as I grew into an adult, I really came to appreciate such gentle reminders: Hey, someone is thinking of you.

When my SIL’s boyfriend M died almost two years ago, my friend K sent flowers. That was the first time I ever received flowers in sympathy. J and I were so stunned, we had no idea who would do such a thing. But by god, they were lovely to receive. And now, I have decided to adopt that practice, bc I remember how strongly the gift and note touched me.

In recent weeks, I have been reaching out to more people for my real estate business. I’ve contacted old friends, former acquaintances, colleagues, etc. I spent FORever drafting my message(s), but in the end, I pushed through and reached out. I’m not gonna lie: the response has been pretty subdued, and it hurts. Sure, for many of the relationships, we lost touch, and now, I’m technically asking for help, so why should anyone give two shits? You know, maybe it’s me but just bc I’m asking for help, I’m not trying to con people or rip anyone off. I’m asking for help, bc I’ve never done anything to harm you, I liked you, and I have a desire to help people build stability and wealth through homeownership. Why wouldn’t you offer support or encouragement or a simple acknowledgement/reply?

I guess it’s my own fault for having expectations, esp from people I know. Maybe it’s too much to hope that people will genuinely wish each other happiness and success. Some days, it gets me down. Out of hundreds of emails, I hear back from maybe 20 people max. Sigh.

The other day, at my sales/prospecting class, we did this exercise for a few minutes where we went around the room saying “no” to everyone we encountered. The point was to thicken our skins, bc in this business we get a LOT of rejection. I am def getting better about it with strangers through all these prospecting activities we’re doing, but with people I know, it’s hard to move on and not dwell. J tells me it’s not about me. But it’s something that still trips me up. I know I have to just keep my eye on the prize, bc ultimately the only one who’s going to stop me is myself.