I know I say this a lot, but a lot’s been going on. Shiiit!

Work wise, this month’s training calendar at the office was especially intense. I guess the higher ups were wanting to get people into the habit of working every day during the week… I dunno. It’s been good, but I’ve been getting frustrated by the crammed training room and wonky internet connection. Half the time, the classes are supposed to be available online and on the few occasions I’ve logged in remotely, the connection doesn’t work or some component is broken (e.g. no audio) or whatever. Then, even when I go in person, the broadband is super unreliable and when we log into sites for files or contracts, we can’t access them! In the beginning, I was patient about it, but now it’s really starting to irk me. I’m going to say something to the office manager: I mean, all of us are paying monthly “business fees” to use the office, so that basic infrastructure needs to fricking work.

Meanwhile, I’m wrapping up my lender meetings. In total, I reached out to almost 30. One lender invited me to an office event with a guest speaker. I figured since it was a Big 5 bank and the talk was over lunch, there would be food and refreshments. Not a damn. thing. I was pretty surprised, but Bubs says big banks are damn cheap. Ok, that sucks. The talk itself was good: the lady was a real estate economist, so she had a bunch of insights and projections about the road ahead. I’m feeling more comfortable these days understanding and talking about the real estate market and the broader economy. In this area, real estate is def going to get tougher and tougher to crack for homebuyers at the entry-level. With interest rates going up, the amount people can afford via a loan goes down, and since housing supply is also low, there is competition among buyers. In multiple offer situations, first-time homebuyers are going to be nudged out by investors and/or people who have stronger finances and therefore stronger offers.

Speaking of harder, John made a comment the other day that he didn’t realize the inventory in Silicon Valley is so tight. That means it’s going to be even harder for newbie agents to get in the game bc there are a bunch of agents, including experienced ones, vying for a limited number of transactions. Ugh. I’m def feeling a little frustrated but I just gotta keep pounding.

Incidentally, I finally put the majority of my contacts (though not all) into my database and I crafted intro messages announcing my new career, explaining how I came into real estate, and seeking referrals to my business. I reached out to probably 150 people, and I would say I got replies from less than 15 people.  I mean, the people who replied were incredibly sweet and supportive, but still zero leads.

And one ex-colleague I knew was planning to sell his house, but he has been hard to schedule meetups with for the last few months. Honestly, I feel like he has been avoiding me. He replied to my eblast and said it was well done, but then he made no mention of his plans. I was so upset by the obvious omission of info that I started crying. That’s the hard thing about sales. There’s a TON of rejection, and when it comes from people you know and people you hope would trust you and your work, it hurts.

One of my friends tried to tell me not to take it so personally: she says that guy’s so savvy, he might be someone to just do a for sale by owner. Still, I was disheartened even if I wasn’t completely surprised. After feeling sorry for myself assuming that he just didn’t want to work with me, I gathered the courage to just ask him flat out: What are your plans? If you aren’t already working with an agent, I’d love to work together. Then no reply for a few more days. I felt so down about myself. And then he finally replied that he and the wife were holding on to the property for another year. Still, no mention that he would use me when the time came…

But that just has to be enough. All I can do is work hard, build my skills, and make the ask. I can’t force people. Ultimately, it is their choice.

So see? I still struggle with these insecurities. Despite all the desensitization exercises I have done– putting myself in uncomfortable situations, dangling myself out there, subjecting myself to strangers and old acquaintances, testing my sociability, my likability, my attractiveness, my charisma, etc.– some days it really is exhausting, and I end up feeling lame. At 40, I def feel more confident and less susceptible to caring about what other people think, but still, there will always be a piece of me that worries about being competent, engaging, and likable… I think it’s human nature, no? I try to remind myself that I’m a good person who is genuinely curious and caring and helpful. But I dunno: I could always use a few mini affirmations to persuade me that I’m moving in the right direction.

Sheesh. All these mental weaknesses are such hindrances. They set me back and cause me to lose momentum, and WHY do I allow that to happen? My managing broker (the surfer dude) is an incredibly confident guy. To the people who don’t respond and don’t offer any support, he simply says, “Who cares? You need to find your tribe. Your tribe is people who believe in you– people who want you to succeed.” I suppose he’s right. And maybe with real estate, the people you mesh with don’t necessarily have to be your friends. In other words, your friends and clients can be the same but don’t HAVE to be. Yup, overthinking it.

Last week I met with a lender and her loan officer. I talked with them about various areas where I thought we could work together. Do you hold homebuying seminars or community education events? No. Do you host open houses with agents? No. Do you want to do any co-branded outreach? No. Ok then. I mean, how are they planning to retain and/or build clientele for purchase loans? It was a total waste of time. And God, I had been back and forth trying to schedule the meeting for weeks. All for nothing. And then at my office, I don’t click with any of the other agents on a friend level. So I go into the office like every weekday and there is no connection. I mean, I like the broker and I like my coach, but they aren’t really people you would go to lunch with or hang out on weekends. Dud.

Needless to say, I’ve been feeling a little frustrated, so I am turning to my hobbies again to try and regain some perspective. Skateboarding class no. 2 was fun. I am super awkward and clunky with my kickturns. Plus, the skatepark is totally overrun by a bunch of legit badasses zooming around all over, doing their tricks and stunts… Whatever. I enjoy focusing on learning something physical. Reminds me a bit of the focus/intensity I had when horseback riding. I want to start that up again. Too many interests!