I got a pretty darn slow start to the day today. Yesterday, after running around in the torrential rain and storms, going from appointment to meeting to training to meeting to whatever, I got chilled to the bone, and you know how I am with my lame constitution. So the sniffles came on and I started sneezing up a storm. Fucking A.

Then Ramona was at the groomers’ all day so by the time I got her home, she was beat, which meant that lil’ snausage snored up a goddamn storm in the bedroom last night (No, she is not sleeping in my bed.)

The good news is that I’ve finally eliminated the flea problem. Before I left for Maryland, I activated three separate flea bombs in the house AND I also released a tub full of nematodes into the backyard. J will probably say the flea bombs did the trick, but I happen to think the dual-pronged approach was the secret. Yeah I’d read online that the worms would eat the fleas and their babies. Whatever. However we arrived here, thank fucking goodness bc I do NOT need to be going around looking like a Leper.

And fortunately, my bug bites healed while I was away. I mean, my legs still look fucked up and scarred but at least the itching is gone and I haven’t scratched the wounds raw. Score one point for me!

In other body news, after I returned from Montana at the beginning of February, I used my Groupon for eyelash extensions. Apparently, this is the latest beauty rage, so I had to partake and see for myself. I just went for a partial instead of the full set, but holy crap, so damn uncomfortable! Basically, in order for her to have full access to my upper lashes (to which the extensions are glued), she had to tape down my lower lashes and that tape kept digging into my undereye area. In the end, the new lashes looked good, but shit man, bc they are fake and curl in one direction, sometimes they twist around on your normal lash and end up poking me in the eyeball. I will say, like the brow tats, it sure is nice to wake up and not spend time doing the eyeliner and mascara thing. It does look pretty natural too, just enhanced. We’re into mid Feb now and some of them are still on, but most have fallen off. As someone who wears contacts and has itchy eyes sometimes, it’s not a good fit. Fake adhesive lashes might be better. Or I’m still game for good ol’ mascara. But it was fun while it lasted.

What else. Nail polish. It looks so nice but Jesus, the chipping! We got our nails done three or four days before the funeral and after day 2, chipped. I’m almost thinking now that I’m no longer going to paint my nails bc the chipping looks so damn gauche. Today I was planning to treat myself to a pedi, but then I got into unabomber mode and decided not to leave the house. I just did them myself. The funny thing about doing my own nails… I get sloppy and shit goes all over the damn place outside of the nailbed. I don’t care. I do a scrappy job and then use a scrubber cloth after they dry to scrape away all the imperfections. That’s easier than making it perfect from the get go. A little Vix fix.

My hair is a royal mess. I was trying to grow back part of the shaved area, and those hairs are just sticking out like a grass patch. I also dyed my hair the other week using my eSalon dye… it’s something I found online and the quality of dye is definitely better in that it doesn’t bleed all over the place but after all that damn work, the color was practically the same as what I started with!! I know, I’m a fucking mess.

And then yesterday, I met with two lenders, one of whom was in a suit. We went to lunch and you know how I never use a straw bc it’s environmental extraneous? Well, twice I went to drink my iced tea, and the ice avalanched towards my mouth, causing the tea to spill all over my shirt. For fuck’s sake, am I being filmed for a bloopers show or what?! That happened TWICE before I had the wherewithal to realize I gotta use the damn straw. Ugh!!! Who can remember all these etiquette/grace school details?!?! Just let me go live in a cave.