So mom got a CAT scan done last week, and the scan def showed differences compared with the scan she had done about 18 months ago. The physician says one area looks like a possible contusion (bruise/injury) and the other area seems like grayish matter. Not exactly sure what the term was since I’m relying what he explained to my father. My father tends to get into all kinds of details, but I’m not the greatest listener, esp when I’m sick. The bottom line is, she’s scheduled now for an MRI and they’re hoping the higher resolution imagery coupled with contrast dyes to see brain circulation will give us more information.

I’m feeling pretty frustrated and vulnerable these days. I know how important it is to maintain a positive attitude… I mean, after all those damn courses I’ve taken, I of anyone, know how critical mental toughness is. And yet, I’m just not there today.

For one thing, I’m still fighting this cold. Our friend A during our trip to Pasadena spoke about constitutions– how some people are just more prone to sickness than others no matter how well they take care of themselves. Ugh. And I’m not exactly the greatest to my body and my health.

Yesterday, our neighbors had us over for dinner. It was really sweet of them: we hadn’t seen them since the day before we said goodbye to Marty. I was annoyed that they hadn’t said anything to me after knowing that we had put him down (in fact, when they were over visiting him one last time, the mom kept offering to care for him the one day she would be home over holiday break… after we had already told her our decision). I dunno. People say we all handle death and grief and loss differently.

I was also super disappointed by people who learned of Martin’s death and said absolutely nothing. Like my former boss from the university. She dropped me an email like “thinking of you and hoping all is good.” I replied within hours that we put Martin down and then no response. I mean, are you emailing me and then not reading the reply? Did you feel bad and want to take more time to craft a sensitive response and then just forgot? Honestly, I am appalled by this kind of bullshit and yet, it’s not the first time I have encountered this. And that was like weeks ago. Still not a damn word. Whatever. SMH. People really do irk my nerves.

In other news, I put two more trips on the books for 2017. We’re headed to Cabo for John’s bday in early March. Then, we’re meeting my college friend and his gal in Nashville in May. Meanwhile, I am gearing up for N’s 40th bday bash in Big Sky, MT, where I just saw the temps were -10F last week. I know. I am ordering some serious heavy duty thermals. Granted, I have been in colder temps in my life (Harbin, China at -25F or so for the Ice Festival). But again, that was over ten years ago when I was younger and stronger and probably still of weak constitution but at least more resilient than today. 🙁