Monthly Archives: November 2016

Decency is Dead

After feeling rather motivated yesterday (having decided on my next career step), today I am totally in the dumps. My brain just keeps trying to explain how someone so consistently egregious in so many ways can rise to become President of the United States of America. There is something so viscerally wrong with this picture, and I am in utter despair that the world is broken beyond repair.

A part of me is looking for someone to blame. I am angry. And when I’m pissed off and upset, I revert to my family’s way of fighting… But in the end, I know that identifying a scapegoat doesn’t solve anything. The damage is done, and put simply, decency is dead. At this point, I am questioning humanity: I am feeling suspicious, defiant, and extremely judgmental. So many people made bad decisions yesterday. Ultimately, you just can’t reason with crazy.

Even so, the diplomatic dance began already, with calls for unity, openmindedness, and collaboration. Well, like the Dixie Chics once said, I’m not ready to make nice. At all.

How did she possibly make that concession speech? For one thing, how did she not crumble and lose her shit in despair and defeat and disappointment? Her strength and resilience and poise is beyond what I can truly comprehend…

Sure, like Obama says, the sun will still rise tomorrow, and we’re all on the same side: Team American. Um, yeah no. And yet, in spite of my defiance and refusal to accept and move forward, there are no other options. Are we to hope that Trump reins in his unpresidential behavior and evolves quickly into someone respectable? Um, don’t people say past performance is a strong indicator of future performance? I’m not stupid. His pattern has been consistent and what, all of the sudden, him moving into the White House is going to turn him into an educated, even-tempered, inclusive non-asshole? Yeah right. People say that at Thanksgiving, we’ll all still gather around the feast with our loved ones who voted for Trump. Um, again. Not ready. I agree: in general, politics shouldn’t ruin your relationships, but shit, in the case of Trump… I simply cannot reconcile this. at. all.

The impact is tremendous. Can we expect the Republican Congress and Republican judicial system to keep his executive branch in check? I am skeptical.

I get that the political landscape has and will continue to ebb and flow through cycles. But shit, this decision feels different. This decision feels like a real death blow. A total Game Over. I don’t know that the pendulum will ever come back or recalibrate to center. We’re in a new world order: decency is dead, and it ain’t ever coming back.

Decision 2016

Surprise, surprise, I didn’t get much sleep last night. I was just too damn wired about a gabillion different things. Two pills of Calm Forte didn’t do Jack! Ah well, luckily another restless night didn’t void out today: today was a pretty good day even though this evening the presidential election results still loom over our heads…

I tried a new carpet cleaning service this morning, and the results were superb… even better than the company I used in the past (recommended by a friend). Actually, that service wasn’t that great, to be honest. But yeah, this dude today got all the stains out, so we are back in business! Who knew a little bit of citrus pre-treatment followed by water heated to 230 degrees and applied at very high pressure then extracted would get all the gunk out? Very impressed and all my earlier worries about how to get the house “ready” were way overblown. Dude was able to get underneath the bed without even moving it, and he really didn’t need to move every damn piece of furniture. All came out clean with very little pain or inconvenience!

In the afternoon, I attended a real estate training at the office. It was led by a title company agent who used to work at Nordies for 8 years. She was a calling whiz and so, so personable. We clicked right away (Yes, it helped that she complimented my hair), and she’s offered to meet up in December to introduce me to their services and offerings. Very cool. After that, I waited around for my instructor/coach to discuss an entire list of questions… he ended up getting hogged up by another student, so I hit up the office comptroller instead. She was very pleasant in answering my questions. I think my inquiries actually impressed her, bc she said no one else had ever asked her those questions, about the business model and incentives, etc. And of course, as I had intended from the get go, I ended by making my ask. And whatdya know, I fucking got it, much to Bubbey’s surprise. So, I’ll be signing on with that Santa Clara office… Hee, hee. So nice to wrap up my due diligence (though I still have two calls tomorrow with newbies/his coaching students– I’ll still be able to glean valuable info from them) and arrive at a decision. I feel really good about it.

Of course, coming home to Election night is a bit unnerving. I went into the day feeling pretty confident: in Hillary, I think we have an amazing candidate, but it’s now 7pm and well, the results are not looking as promising as anticipated. Bubbey is already calling the end of the world… Many of the key states are too close to tell, but you know what? This election is like the real estate license exam. It doesn’t matter what score you get, you just have to pass. Likewise, it doesn’t matter how close the individual states are, Hillary just has to win. And I still believe she will.

On the Cusp

These days I really vacillate between feeling completely overcome by doom and disbelief to feeling some lingering and stubborn kindling of optimism and fire. Tonight we are on the cusp of something historic. Sure, we continue going about our daily routines: I’m thrilled to have carpet cleaners coming first thing tomorrow to get this sty back in shape; I’m going to another real estate training then meeting with the office recruiter; I’ve got more calls slated for the afternoon, a repeat doggie daycare client the next day… nothing ever stops, but tomorrow I will go to bed reassured and proud and happy, knowing that for the first time ever, this country will have a smart and accomplished Madam President come January. I’m with her, and she will win.

I’ve popped two Calm Forte this evening: I look forward to waking up well rested and hopeful for a brand new day ahead.

It’s Gou Time!

Since returning from overseas, I have been on the go. Big. time. John insists that this Powerpill mode was all precipitated by my father’s assertion that he works waaaay harder than I do. I’ll admit, statements like that– albeit true– do rile me up, so yes, that partially lit a fire under my ass. But aside from my father’s remarks, I’ve also been getting super antsy, you know? It’s time to get going full force. After all, I like to hustle!

Since Wednesday, I’ve been in full-on real estate networking/research mode. Then, I’ve also been trying to catch up with friends and you know, get back into the swing of home improvement, activity planning, and dealios. Real estate-wise, a decision on where I’m going to work is coming soon (after I do a tad bit more research and squeeze in some negotiating, of course).

As for my personal life, I am still floating on Cloud 9 with my Southwest Companion Pass. Shit man, I had already scored our Seattle tickets for dirt cheap, but then I called yesterday to inquire if I could refund John’s ticket (for travel credit) and instead use the Companion Pass option. Yesiree! I also learned that his travel credits can be applied towards taxes (~$11.20/flight) on the comp ticket! I know, you don’t really give a shit about the nitty gritty: long story short, we now have three trips on the books where he’s using the deal (over $500 worth!) . I’m going to get addicted to this BOGO travel arrangement big time!

What else. J and I have been talking about upgrading to a tankless water heater, so we can recover some space from the hallway and expand the master bath just a tad. We’re getting estimates from 2-3 plumbers to see what that entails. The timing is just about right too: this week, we noticed leaking/moisture on the top of our existing 40-gallon water heater (dated 1998!!). Yup, at this point we are really playing with fire. And given the last plumbing debacle, we’re kinda pushing our luck. Anyway, the project might have to break down into phases due to the urgency of getting in a new heater… we’ll see.

I’ve also been feeling rather grossed out by our dirty carpets, so I gathered numerous quotes last week for carpet cleaning. I’m planning to schedule a thorough deep cleaning on Tuesday/Wednesday, bc I need to see start seeing some sparkle around here!

Oh, and I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m participating in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), which is basically an event/movement where bloggers post daily for this month. I’ve done it before. Blogging every day is a good habit for me since it’s essentially my therapy, which you witnessed in full view last month… Stay tuned for more.

 

Day Trip

We had a packed day today, hanging out with our child free friends J and J– the same people we did the Paso Robles VRBO trip with in September.

This morning we drove up to Mare Island in Vallejo: We toured the model units at Blu Homes (nice but a rip off given the steep pricing), ate a fab lunch at the Girl and the Fig (pork belly sandwich) in downtown Sonoma, and then hit up a few wineries. J&J introduced us to a nice venue (Landmark Wineries) with beautiful grounds and affordable tasting fees. Sadly, I’m not used to consuming so much wine in one day, plus I was DD. We had a great day, and Sonoma is very pretty this time of the year with the fall leaves, but I’m beat. Still hacking up a lung too. Hoping the extra hour will give me superpowers tomorrow.

Due Diligence

Omg I am pooped! A week later and I’m still battling this pesky cold I acquired in Taiwan, plus jet lag still has my sleep schedule all messed up.

That said, I can’t be stopped. This week I’ve met with four brokers and made numerous emails/calls to active newbie agents (about 15 of them) trying to get their scoop on the various offices and companies. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by nearly everyone! The brokers are all really sharp and sassy; then, the agents have been incredibly gracious and candid. I’ve kinda been going all over the place in figuring out where to join, but after today, I am feeling some more clarity. While I think I could work in any of the places, some do feel like a better cultural/personality fit as I’ve clicked more with some people than others. Regardless, I’m getting excited about starting up soon.

I also caught up with a couple friends this week. It’s pretty crazy how fast time flies. It’s gonna be Thanksgiving just like that. We’re still deciding whether or not to host dinner. It’s been a tradition for many years, but we’re really tired from all the recent travel and maybe this year we’ll just do the two of us (and my Nuwave turkey of course).

Man, I hope I get my license issued before Thanksgiving. Power pill’s getting antsy.

Wired

Ugh, Day 2 and I’m still suffering from jetlag. Of course, in typical fashion, I scheduled an interview with my real estate instructor for the very next day after touching down. Last month, after meeting up and attending trainings with the Burlingame realtor I met through LinkAges, I was finding myself quite enamoured with that office; however, after being away and thinking things over, I started getting second thoughts, mostly about the schmooziness of the trainer and other agents in that office. After meeting with my instructor this morning and seeing some of the other associates in the Silicon Valley office, the vibe here just feels much more my style. And honestly, that works out better, bc this Santa Clara office is a far easier commute (10 minutes), plus it’s located in the region that I want to cover: Mountain View, Sunnyvale, Los Altos, Palo Alto.

My conversation with the instructor M went for a long while, and then he gave me a packet with tons of information about business fees (for use of the office), commission splits, coaching fees, membership dues, etc. Real estate really is a whole other world, and with it being so sales-based, there’s just a lot to learn. After our meeting, I attended one of his tech trainings that covered creating graphs on the market data: pretty easy stuff given my level of comfort with web tools and Excel. Still, it was a really good reminder that I have a lot to study up on. For example, all during our time in Taiwan, Dad was tracking real estate: like he knows which construction projects are new in the city, what the prices are per sf, what the unit sizes are per building, latest sales prices… he is constantly moguling. And my instructor said today, to be a good realtor, you have to become your area’s real estate economist. Ugh. So many things to remember! Also, I sucked at economics in college! Long story short though: I felt pretty good about the meeting: this could be a strong fit.

When I got home, J and I grabbed lunch and I shared some of the info. From the get go, J has always pushed for me to join an office closer rather than farther from home. We talked over some of the numbers. The business model at this particular company is actually really different from other real estate companies so then of course, business-minded Bubbey had all kinds of questions about how this company is even able to make money, etc. My Bubbey is so damn smart. I dunno how it all works: I suppose I just go by word of mouth, magazine articles/rankings, and cultural vibe.

By the afternoon, we both hit the wall again and fell asleep. I still managed to shoot off some emails, setting up interviews with a few more companies and offices (to gather data points) and reconnecting with my own realtor/friend D. She’s the one with three kids, all under 6 y/o, also the former owner of Buddy. She’s always super last minute with scheduling, but she said she could meet tonight after 7:30pm. I was feeling really tired, but I figured it would be a worthwhile meeting to get her feedback on the package my instructor gave me and just to see what other insights I could glean.

Of course, my relationship with D is sometimes complicated. She was an awesome agent for us, but as I’ve blogged about before, her style can be very assertive and borderline pushy. She gave good advice today, and then we talked about Tony Robbins, who is doing his Unleash Your Power event in San Jose next week. I really do admire her passion for pushing outside the comfort zone, and I find her to be quite astute business-wise, in terms of leveraging money and trying to grow wealth (using money to make money)… She reiterated the possibility of working together in several months, after she figures out what she wants to do with her real estate career that is currently on hold for the kids (she homeschools). I think we could potentially be a great team, but I also have reservations. We’ll see. Certainly, I can deal with that bridge when I get there.

But now I’ve been up again since 4:30am, and I’m just feeling anxious. People keep telling me real estate isn’t rocket science, but I’m afraid. I go back and forth, questioning my people skills, whether I’ll be able to understand what clients need, esp when what they verbalize may not necessarily reflect their true thoughts… I wonder how long it’ll take me to ramp up. Maybe my negotiation skills aren’t that great… there are so many factors. My instructor made an analogy today about people’s “why,” essentially their motivation and goal behind entering real estate. If real estate were a seafood restaurant, are you wanting to be a cook; are you wanting to be the owner; will you go out and fish; do you want to own a bunch of seafood restaurants? Those motivations don’t have to be clear or defined immediately at the start; sometimes, they emerge later. I suppose for me, I’m just tired of working for other people in an office monkey kind of capacity. I want to have more autonomy and control over what is possible– this idea that I can throttle and control how big I want this to grow appeals to me. And then ultimately, I want to be successful at something, to the point where I don’t feel like my life is simply me riding on the coat tails of a wealthy father or a successful husband.

But I worry. About so many things. The fears won’t stop me from trying. They won’t keep me from pushing myself to do things that are uncomfortable. But I still feel uneasy. And I’ve been feeling a bit more skeptical lately… perhaps it’s the influence of J who is always questioning things from a business and motivation perspective. I’m not super savvy and sohpisticated with the complexities of life and the world, you know? Like I tend to take things at face value and I understand things in a very black and white manner. Will I miss something? I don’t know an exact scenario that I’m fearful of, but that whole Advocare thing comes to mind… sometimes I think of sales in those contexts: either I’m easily charmed and too trusting, or I’m totally on guard. How will I tell the difference for the right circumstance? Argh!

Well, first thing’s first. I’m going to continue with a few more meetings into next week, and then plan to hang my license (hopefully, it arrives in the mail soon) with a broker by the middle of November. Meanwhile, I am starting to study all the housing numbers and trends for Mountain View. One step at a time.

The Least of Multiple Evils?

As much as I want my parents to just let go of the whole Johnny situation, I know it’s never going to happen. Perhaps for my mother, it is a kind of obsession or addiction that she will take with her to the grave. And for my father, even if he wants to let go and give up, his love for her won’t allow him to free himself.

And so, on the 11-hr. flight home, I kept brainstorming how else to potentially solve this lifelong problem. The real question is: how do you make a selfish and entitled person care about his parents? How and why is it that this stranger, this religious Master has successfully captured his attention and his loyalty? I dunno: it’s some weird dynamic of charisma, power, and perhaps Johnny’s desire to belong to something bigger. Ultimately, what is it that we want J to become? It seems so ridiculous to me to say we just want him to be an adult. I mean, this is life: not everyone out there is mature. Just look at all those Trump crazies and other political/religious fanatics.

Many months ago, my friend K sent me an article. I think it was featured in Esquire or something, and it was about the multi-level marketing (MLM aka pyramid scheme) businesses, like AdvoCare, Amway, Mary Kay, Herbalife, NuSkin, etc. I mean, I have used some of those products and enjoyed them. I don’t know for sure that they all qualify as MLM models, but the point of the article was basically about how the organization mentally pressured its sales people to recruit salespeople to go beneath them (and they get a cut of those agents’ sales). Part of the indoctrination was that the product was amazing (which is possible), but more important than that, there was intense messaging about contributing to the organization while growing your wealth and growing the salesforce. When the journalist examined the figures though, very very few people actually earned a real living off their work. Meanwhile, the company preyed on its own people, pressuring them to pay for more and more trainings and marketing packages to help them achieve “success.” The pressure is so strong that people turn to their families to show “support” by buying expensive products they don’t necessarily need. Reading the article reminded me precisely of my brother’s situation. All my cousins say he is always pressuring them to join, even if some of them are already part of their own organized form of religion. Anyway, the article really highlights the deceptive, mental manipulation that really happens from the very top down. Now I’m thinking to email Johnny the article just to see what happens.

Then again, John and I were talking about all the problems my parents have had with my brother over his lifetime. He was an excellent student but he was suspended in high school for cussing out a teacher. In film school, he entered a crazy thug stint landing him in jail in LA for a few days. Maybe my parents’ paranoia is founded: maybe if he were absolutely abandoned and left to his own devices, he would become a gangster or thug. I suppose with him, anything could really happen.

In that sense then, is this religious fanaticism and insane loyalty to the Master so bad? He’ll just forever be a trust fund baby with no sincere appreciation or concern for his parents.

This Master sounds pretty damn sketchy to me. I heard through the grapevine that he himself left his wife for one of his disciples. I mean, we’ve all heard scary shit about cults like Children of God and David Koresh’s Waco cult where all kinds of egregious things are done to innocent, malleable children… I don’t even want to know how old the Master’s new wife is. I feel sick even thinking about it.

So now I don’t really know what to do. On one hand, my brother used to be a champion debater in school. Would reading a thorough and well-written article like this make him see things in a different way? Would it make him question the cult he’s in? On the other hand, if his religion is keeping him out of the bars and off the streets and giving him something to do with people of shared interests, is there any harm other than the monetary consequences and constant harassment towards family to join?

All of this makes me think of my father’s younger brother for whom the family paid decades and decades of debt due to his failed business ventures and chronic overspending. My uncle is now a monk. He tries to convert his family every chance he gets, but everyone just ignores his requests. The last two or three times I went back, I didn’t seen him. He lives at a compound way up in the mountains. But it’s a simple place, not ridic ornate or swanky or anything. At least now he isn’t running around anymore with the sketchy thug crowd, gambling and getting the family into debt. Perhaps my brother is following this similar path and that’s just the best we can get.