I have to say, one of the most challenging things about adulting is conflict management. Sure, I’ve had a lot of experience growing up with my crazy Chinese family, dealing with their steady stream of unsolicited radical honesty, but I dunno, conflict with family is always different (at least for me) from conflict with the world.

I mean, it’s no secret that I have a temper.My mother always explained that she was super stressed and unhappy during her pregnancy with me, so Vicky the fetus got bombarded with negative hormones and juices. Yep, I practically bathed in that shit. In my father’s younger years, he also had a really short fuse… So I guess you could just blame genetics.

Needless to say, my family has always triggered the worst behavior in me, with well, what I would describe as fits of rage. In the working world though, I always managed to keep my temper in check. It probably helped that the triggers were less inflammatory and the issues were less personal. Still, no matter how often conflict has found me, it still makes me uncomfortable and nervous and uneasy. I may appear outwardly calm about it, but inside, it’s just eating away at me. Curse of the overthinking mind, right?

So yesterday, I had another restless night. First, I kept hearing noises and I just felt somewhat fearful and quasi-unsafe. Like mentally, I was freaking myself out about an intruder or whatever. Then I was stressing again about my real estate class and how I’m behind schedule and how am I gonna get this shit done and how am I gonna be an agent. Fucking self doubt.

This morning, my realtor called at 8:30a. I immediately rolled out of bed and answered the phone trying to sound like I’d already been up and running for hours (!!). He basically called to revisit our last conversation. For 15 minutes, he urged me again to drop the price more and re-engage the last interested party. Back and forth, we went. I talked about new properties in the neighborhood that just got listed (they’re listed even higher), the open house scheduled for Sunday, how my grandmother’s house sold for asking after sitting on the market for months… He just kept saying I should trust his expertise, and a deal shouldn’t fall through over $2k. The whole time I was reluctant but finally, I agreed to an “attempt to re-engage.”

After I got off the phone, I kept replaying that shit in my head. Why is he in such a rush? Why do I feel bullied? Later in the morning, I talked to Bubbey. He said it wasn’t about trust or questioning the agent’s expertise. It’s a disagreement on the market value. The agent says one thing. I say another. But J reiterated that the agent is my representative. He can argue his case, but ultimately, it is MY decision. And that’s where I need to assert my position more strongly. Bubbey, man: world-class EQ, I tell you. His point was good one, and I think part of all this stress is that the conflict and style of exchange has been bothering me since last week… But J was right. It’s not an emotional thing. I put in money for the renovation. I’ve been managing this property for years and in the end, I want top dollar for it. End of discussion. Whew. Are you feeling my growing anxiety over here? The good thing about me? I do what has to be done. I will have the conversation or discussion that no one wants to have (e.g. Eating disorder intervention, alcoholism intervention, what have you).

So I emailed my agent. Yes, a call probably would have been better but it’s past 5p over there and I’m better in written form. So I stated my position more strongly and now, the ball is back in the agent’s court. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, my dad called this afternoon bc he got into some feud with the pest control company. Long story short, last summer, there was a squirrel problem at the townhouse, so dad signed up for pest service. I guess the seasonal plan auto-renews, which he didn’t know bc he didn’t read the fine print on the back of the contract. So this July kicked off the new season and dad got a bill. He called the corporate office. Then the local office. Then, the local manager. They argued back and forth for 20 minutes, and my dad claims the guy said “fuck you” a bunch of times and then hung up. So who gets called in to resolve this issue? OnStar of course. Ugh.

So I call the guy. He’s hard to understand bc he mutters, his voice is low, and he’s in the car. He explains and says the charge was for take down service after the new season started and my dad called to discontinue service. So I just say that I want a copy of the work order and tech invoice to see what was done. Then I say, yes, the auto renewal was on the contract but no one fucking reads a contract esp when the vendor is standing there in front of you waiting on your signature. They should really give people a heads up like hey, the new season is starting next month and you are on track to auto-renew… Anyway, he agrees to send me the work order files after he gets home.

And then, I call him out on being rude to my dad. Fuck yeah, I did. I just said, I know sometimes it’s hard to communicate with someone whose native language isn’t English but there’s no need to be rude and unprofessional. Then he explained that he’s Hispanic (doh!!) and he doesn’t have issues with different cultures but my dad kept cutting him off and wouldn’t let him talk, so after 20 minutes, he said he had to go. Fair enough. I mean, my mother is NOTORIOUS for cutting people off. My father not so much, but if he thinks you are ripping him off, he can get argumentative. As for the cussing, was the dude saying “stop” or “fuck.” I don’t know. I apologized for dad cutting him off and please send me the work order. At most, not a huge deal. Dad would be out $70. I mean, some people might just pay the $70 to be done with this bullshit, but you know, part of it is the principle of it. Auto renewals are always super sketchy and I mean, if you’re yelling and/or cussing at my dad, that’s not cool either. So it got worked out, but that kind of interaction is fucking stressful as hell. So now I’m totally drained.

Time to pet my doggies and then try to salvage the day with some studying. Quickie trip to Palm Springs kicks off tomorrow (I had Southwest credits to burn!). Woot, woot!