Ahead of my trip, I def had a ton of reservations. There was a lot to do, and I’d been feeling a little apprehensive, like maybe mom’s health was on the decline and dad was keeping it on the downlow… I just hadn’t really spoken to her on the phone in recent weeks, so I was starting to worry. Thankfully, she’s doing fine– being her same old self, so that’s a relief. Both of them appear ok. Dad hasn’t had his dizziness/imbalance issues. They did both stop exercising since returning from Taiwan, but I’m planning to get them walking again before I leave town…
So far, we’ve been getting along fine. Funny thing: on our drive home from BWI, I told my parents about my Rover and eBay/Craigslist escapades. I actually expected my parents to not really be impressed at all since I was just earning a few Bubbey bucks here and there, but to my surprise, they actually loved the idea. And they thought both Rover and Ebay/CL were a good fit for me in terms of running ops and being prompt/responsive. I was pretty darn blown away. Maybe it was in the way I told my story: they laughed at my stealthy strategies for converting my Rover meet and greet visitors into clients! Haha.
In other family news: the other night, I spoke with one of my aunts in Taiwan (my father’s oldest sister). Aunt G is the aunt who most closely follows the philosophy of filial piety, so she always drones on and on about how much she loves her father (my paternal grandfather) and how she wants to spend as much time as possible with him…. that’s all fine and dandy but then she also goes on to talk about how well respected my dad is in their town and how he’s so smart and wise and successful… I mean, all those things are true. Indeed, of all the people I’ve encountered in my long life of 40 years, he’s without doubt the smartest, most hardworking, most moral person ever. But the way my aunt couches every conversation about him, she starts expressing disbelief at how little time (Johnny and) I spend learning from dad. His wisdom extends so far beyond just medicine, she exclaims. We have access to this incredible resource and what have we done with it?!? It’s hard to explain, bc I’m sure her intention is only the highest praise for my dad, but sometimes it just really comes across like, “Look how amazing your father is, and what a shame you and your brother are no where near that level of greatness. How can you two be his progeny?” It’s a bit like, you’re not good enough to be his kids.
The thing is, I am well aware of the stark contrast, and admittedly, I don’t work nearly as hard as my dad. BUT, at the same time, my brain capacity is what it is, you know? Like my dad remembers every fricking stock transaction… it doesn’t matter how long ago the transaction. He just remembers that and a shit ton of other details. Meanwhile, I can’t even remember how much I paid yesterday for a gallon of gas! So yeah, he remembers interest rates and stock values and rent payments and physics principles and math and ALL that stuff… Maybe working in medicine required him to memorize a lot of info and that trained up his brain? I don’t know, but even among doctors, his brain capacity still seems extraordinary. The point is, in Chinese culture, evolution and legacy are super important themes. The curve is supposed to keep going up over time, whether it’s family wealth or quality of life or success or whatever. So every time I have some version of this conversation with my Aunt G, I just visualize a graph that for all the generations before, steadily increased, and then at me, it dropped. It sucks to be the lame one. I mean, it could be worse: I could be my brother, but still.
Ah well, it’s pointless to dwell on my inadequacies and failures. Ultimately, it’s more productive and helpful to just focus on how I can return this favor of a privileged life provided by my parents. There are things I can do that my father can’t, and I suppose we can fill the gaps together. So that’s that.