Since returning from Europe, Martin has not been well. The sitter took great care of him, but since being home, he has had a few bouts with anxiety and his appetite is waning considerably. We have resumed giving him fluids every few days, but it doesn’t seem to work the magic that it used to. He vomited a couple of times, had diarrhea, and is visibly weaker. The hind legs are starting to give out, and he is definitely thinner.

Meanwhile, my childhood friend N is at the end now with her dog. Also suffering from kidney disease, Ally has stopped responding to everything: she is not eating and she no longer has the strength to get up. N is a vet, so she knows much more about this terrible “progressive” disease. The word, “progressive” doesn’t even seem like the right term. Progressive suggests advancement in an upward direction, but really, our puppies are degenerating right before our eyes. When I spoke with N two days ago, I tried to be optimistic: Marty and Remy bounced back so many times; maybe Ally will too. But N knows better. And today will be Ally’s last. Once again, we must say good bye to a loyal and trusted friend. I remember all of our furry companions– how much they have enriched our lives. Their time with us is just never enough. Ever.

I don’t know how much, if at all, Martin will bounce back this time. I hope that, like Nathalie, I will know when it’s time. And I will have the strength to let him go.

That’s the thing about life. There is never a good time. I was wanting this year to be one of celebration not sadness. I’m not sure that things are panning out that way. I recently got approved to be a dog sitter on Rover. My idea was to specialize in caring for old dogs, thinking it would be a way for Martin to gain some company, as he does seem to do better in the presence of a pack. But now I don’t know if that will all happen in time, bc well, “progression.” Ugh.