So I took a long break from blogging… yeah, after I bruised my nose from the iPad crashing down on my face, I decided I couldn’t be writing posts half asleep. To be honest, I started writing a long post about friendships (surprise, surprise) and then I just kept wasting time on it, bc I couldn’t seem to get the gist right. For now, I have abandoned the draft, bc I don’t have time to keep reworking it. After all, time’s a tickin’, and as it is, I’m freaking all the way across the country now in Miami.

Quick recap: John’s mom is still in the acute rehab facility. She is doing well. She has her hospital posse going on. For one thing, she shares a room with another lady, and they’re so chatty, they don’t even use the room divider curtain thing for personal privacy! J is still back East. He and his siblings finally convinced the parents to move into a 2 BR apartment within an assisted living community. I know it’s a huge change, and I try to be understanding about it, but I guess I also feel really protective of J. He’s been there now for three weeks, handling everything from cooking meals for his dad, to decluttering, to driving them back/forth to the hospital, to organizing, to now packing and moving. If we thought him working at a startup was exhausting and 24/7, this eldercare shit is no. fucking. joke. And incidentally, J comes from a family of chatterboxes, so for an introvert who needs his recharge quiet time, all the human interaction is draining even if his threshold for family is high. He’s been amazing, and they are so lucky to have him willing and able to help.

I really hate to be one of THOSE people crying over spilled milk (or is it spoiled milk), but Jesus Christ. So much of this chaos could have been minimized. For YEARS, J and his siblings broached these difficult topics of aging with the parents. From asking them to consider cleaning services and food delivery, to setting up health directives and wills, to using a cane/walker, to thinking about moving out of their split level home… And yet every single time, their good intentions were met with anger and frustration and resistance. I’m a stubborn person. I understand that when I think I’m right, I don’t want to be bullied into changing my mind. But I dunno. There’s just something about the lack of awareness/self-perception and consequently, the denial and refusal that tries my patience, and I’m not even involved in any of the conversations. Fuck, man. It sounds so frickin’ hard. No wonder Bubbey’s EQ and people skills are “world-class.” I would have lost my shit a million times over.

The good news is that things are finally in motion, regardless of how the cascade of events was triggered. They move on Friday, and Bubbey returns one week after that. Yes, he is going to need a major vacation after all this. Interestingly, as all of this has gone down, I have been telling my parents: figure your shit out bc otherwise, I am going to just come in and bulldoze. I mean, I’m giving them fair warning. And hell, they KNOW I have zero patience, so that’s that. If you don’t figure it out ahead of time, I’m calling all the shots. If you want slow-moving indecisive bullshit, go call on my brother. Doh!!

As for my grandfather, he has graduated from in-home (visiting) physical therapy sessions. The therapists now say he has to go to a local facility with more equipment, bc the daily household exercises are just too easy for him. Yup, my Yebbie is crazy athletic. Did I even tell you? On like the second day after he moved in with my parents, my father found gramps downstairs in the basement, trying out the brand new elliptical machine I had bought my parents in February. Homeboy like made his own way down the stairs and climbed on the equipment. My dad was like, “Hold on, here. You can’t be getting on this thing just yet. You just got home from rehab!!” Yeah man. Yebbie is on the move and cannot be stopped. Thank goodness my parents confiscated his car keys, bc gramps was looking for his keys as soon as he got out of the hospital. Fucking fugitive.

What else. Oh, I had lunch with the boss to celebrate my six months on the job. My actual anniversary date was 4/20, so while I was prepping my bullet points for the conversation (outlining my accomplishments and list of requests/demands), I imagine much of the rest of CA was busy smoking pot. Haha. Yeah, I got all decked out in my power dress too. We had a good conversation. I talked about my challenges, the work load, what I like/dislike… and then I launched into it. But before I was even able to rattle off my items, she stopped me and said she already put in for an increase. It’s not going to be a boost like they do in the corporate world, but it will be within what the institution can do. So now we wait to see if her boss gives the green light. At the time, I was pretty pleased to hear this, but in retrospect, I feel like I should have pressed for details, like how much and what’s the timeline and can it be retroactive. Fucking A. This shit always comes to me AFTER the situation is over. Ah well. Guess I’ll just wait and see.

Meanwhile, the latest newbie is like stressing out every damn day. I mean for sure, she is hypersensitive and perfectionist. She admits this. As a former neurotic stressball myself, I get it: I used to be super reactive about EVERYTHING. Thankfully, in my old age and with the help of Bubbey, I have really chilled the fuck out. And I suppose my last job also gave me lots of practice with the constant disruptions and crisis mode bullshit. The thing with my coworker is that she’s having trouble adjusting and rather than internalize like I do (or I blab to my friends), she has to talk it out like then and there, so she just barges in and dumps it all… which is fine (this ain’t my first rodeo), but don’t expect me to join in escalating that shit, you know? I mean, I know some people are just all about the drama: I have been friends with people like that; I have worked with people like that. It’s ridiculous: every single thing is some kind of personal affront. The truth is, people are NOT that aware. Seriously, people are clueless dumb fucks. I know bc I’m sometimes one of those people wandering about the world, unintentionally cutting people off on the highway, saying nothing at all or something abrupt to a coworker walking down the hall bc I’m preoccupied with something else. But really, contrary to what my mother insisted while I was growing up, not every person is like deliberately trying to thwart you/me. And then beyond that, some people are just chronically frenzied. Like my current boss is perpetually frantic. You have to just understand that SHE is kinda all over the place. That said, not everything she brings to your attention is urgent and immediate. She’s just sharing to put the ball in your court, but you can determine the priority and handle it on your schedule. Anyway, I was trying to express this to my coworker. I felt like past coworkers had also shared this observation with me. But she doesn’t seem convinced. She wants to read it like a personal attack. So fine. Whatever. Go get yourself bent out of shape about it.

Fast forward: Now I’m in Miami for a social media conference. I flew in yesterday, and originally, I had all these grand plans to have people join me and share the swanky hotel room. My bud N was interested, but she had just recovered from back surgery and needed to head back to work. My friend M had some mandatory training at work. Bubs was stuck in MD. And then my other friends are now mothers. But hell, I am a determined beotch, so my hopes weren’t to be foiled. I called up my college buddy J and made the offer. Like with one week’s notice. Granted, J is a planner. He’s not an impulsive or frivolous person, so I fully expected a rejection. But whatdya fucking know? It’s a short, quick trip, but heck, he’s doing it and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Thursday night to Saturday lunch. I’m telling you, even friends you think you have completely figured out: they can still surprise you. I think Bubbey thought we were gonna have separate rooms, but I mean, that defeats the purpose of the free hotel stay!! Duh. Bubs is ok but not super thrilled. Whatever, man. J and I went to college together. He dates back pre-Bubbey even. Actually, I met J my sophomore year (same dorm) and John that summer. So it’s close, but these are silly irrational fears. John knows him, we’ve traveled together, and fuck man, I’m going to be wearing my organic cotton PJs– yes, the ones that look like a concentration camp uniform. In my defense, many years ago, J went solo to a friend’s wedding, and he shared a room with his ex. The thing is, we all have irrational fears. I refuse to let them paralyze me. Bottom line: if Bubs gives me his word, I choose to believe him. And the same goes for him. Heck, my word is even stronger than his, so trust, baby!