A couple of my friends recently became mothers.They’re a few months in now, and I have to say, despite all the horror stories I heard from other acquaintances about parenthood, my two buds Y and G haven’t complained yet. Rather, they are so thrilled and over-the-moon for their little bundles. Not that the others weren’t happy about becoming parents, but I just distinctly remember my coworkers and acquaintances bemoaning the sleep deprivation and round-the-clock care their little babies demanded. Maybe, as a child-free person, I only heard what I wanted to hear? I dunno, but based on those stories, I was pretty certain both buds were in for a very rude awakening.

When my friend said she was planning a weekend escape to Vegas with the hubby and new baby, I was skeptical. All the logistics: packing, plane travel, dining out, breastfeeding… really?? Thankfully, a week later, I was pleasantly surprised that baby’s first trip was a huge success. Instead of schlepping all the baby equipment, they just rented swings and shit. They ate out, they hung out by the pool, and the baby was fine. No out-of-control incidents. Wow. The disparity between my expectation and her reality got me thinking: are some people just major complainers (myself possibly included)? Do they just drum up drama everywhere they go? Eek.

I dunno, but curiously, both buds are physicians. Is there maybe something about the medical schooling, training, and the profession that focuses them away from the bullshit negativity and strictly towards solving problems and getting shit done? I see a similar trait in my father. Well, more so now than before I guess.

Is the difference attributed to personality and attitude? A month ago, on my trip to Seattle, I was probably talking about my job hunt, and G said something to the effect of, “Yes, but you like a certain bit of stress.” She ended up rephrasing, but I caught her drift. In some bizarre way, it’s almost as if I am driven to some extent by stress. I think her rephrasing was more just that I always have a baseline level of urgency.

That weekend, G was waking up every two hours to feed, her husband was already off of paternity leave and back to working full time… I was there right in the middle of a very busy and transitional time, and yet being in their home, I noticed very little visible frustration. Things still got done, the dog still got walked, and everything was calm. In my mind, I contrasted that to my home where John and I are frequently irritated with work, with people, with vendors, whatever. We sigh a lot and are visibly cranky and tired. Such a stark difference.

I’m nearly always stressed about something. Lately, it’s been about Marty, my dad’s condo, my new job, J’s job/stress, whatever. I often think back to when I was growing up: my dad worked insane hours for his job, which was already an intense profession, and then he still had a gabillion other things going on, plus he was helping his family back home with their debts and money issues. He never lost his shit with his parents or his siblings. He never dreaded or complained about helping them. I’m ALWAYS complaining about the tasks I do for my parents. Shouldn’t I just be happy to help? I’m eager and willing to help my friends, so why am I so begrudging with my parents?

The thing is, everyone has her issues and problems. That said, maybe life really is about how we handle these challenges. I need to divert my negative energy from worry and anger and frustration to more positive things like solving problems, making progress, and getting shit done. J warns that personality probably plays a big role in influencing this baseline urgency, so while I should definitely try to be more positive, I should also understand that I’ll never be as even-keeled as G. So true. Gotta manage those expectations, right?

For this trip, both J and I are actively trying to be more positive and constructive. I know, we’re still on the flight over, so it’s very early, practically premature. Interestingly though, the universe has already rewarded us with a pretty painless commute from Caltrain to Bart to AirTrain to SFO. Also, after we arrived at the terminal, twice we got moved to the front of a new line– cutting down on our wait time with ticketing and security. And then, we didn’t even have to go through the x-ray scanner. Looks like positivity has it privileges! The universe is answering us. Haha.