So on Tuesday, I was back on campus for another interview– this time with the VP of University Relations. Yup, uber big dog. I had prepped all this shit beforehand: reviewed the strategic plan, got the 411 on his career, reviewed the uni’s budget, values, mission, fundraising breakdown, etc. We met for ten minutes. He just had me tell him about myself and answer a few other questions. Done. Afterwards, I felt good but you just never know. Sigh. Come what may.

When I got home, I resumed reading up on all the news stories surrounding the controversy. Late Tuesday night, I found a new article dated that day that said the state of California was requiring coverage. Whew! California saves the day!! It’s kinda funny, because the whole practice of getting up to speed on the issue really took me back to my Feminist Majority Foundation days when I was writing their news stories and action alerts. You gotta do your research. I was in the zone, man. It was an intense several hours.

Then, this morning, I got the call. Yippee, I scored a verbal offer. But I had also prepared an outline to broach the issue. Yeah, I know all the experts say job search is like dating: leave out all controversial issues and topics. Well, in typical VG style, I was compelled to bring it up. It was stressful, hard, and risky. But I put my shit on the table, man. That’s how I am. She was pretty taken aback, and the tone definitely changed. But she shared her perspective and practice as a communications professional. In the end, she said it was my call. Given that the law currently holds strong, the uni population is super diverse and progressive, people generally love working there, and none of these topics will be on social media, I’m good moving forward. What?? Yeah, did you hear that right? I freaking got a job offer. And I accepted it. All verbal, of course. That said, at the end of the talk, she didn’t sound entirely convinced. I mean yeah, social media stuff is all fun and fluffy. Here, I just dampened the mood talking about politics. I went over a few of the other benefits. No wiggle room at all regarding negotiations. Then, I reiterated that I wanted to proceed. She agreed to contact HR for the next steps.

The rest of the morning, I felt a little uneasy. I think mostly I was coming down from all the stress of preparing and leading a risky conversation. Plus, even beyond the job hunt, I’ve had a lot on my mind lately (Martin is still not eating enough…). In the end, I talked out the job offer with some friends, a career adviser or two, another random person, and I started to settle down. I reached out to the director again in the afternoon, reaffirming my interest and also thanking her for giving me the space to speak my mind. After all, this is what communications is about, right? I gotta exercise my judgement and handle it.

John worked really late and came home around 9p. I was just getting off a conference call for my mastermind class about Leadership and Influence (John Maxwell book). I was just so exhausted from everything. But John said the sweetest thing to me. He said he was really proud of me and of all that I had done. He said earlier in the day while he was at work, he thought about all the people we know: who among them would have done all the things I did to get here? Who would have gotten up after facing disappointment so many damn times to step outside the comfort zone again and again? Honestly, I think my friends COULD do this: people never know their full capacity. But I was really touched by his acknowledgement. I think back to those days not so long ago, when J and I almost called it quits. We had fallen out of sync and stopped understanding each other. And now, through a little bit of good fortune and a lot of perseverance, there truly is NO ONE who knows me better. He really grasped the severity of this dilemma for me. Some people reacted with some exasperation, suggesting I was being too picky or too perfectionist with my conditions. Others thought maybe it was just a simple “no” and move on kind of decision. John never questioned why it troubled me or why this was important to me. His acceptance helped me to accept myself.

And in the end, as I worked through the conundrum, I ultimately arrived at an answer that aligns with me and my values. I feel good. Bubbey tells me now to embrace the choice and move forward with happiness and joy, in celebration of this major victory. My Bubbey. I am so very lucky to have found him– in a world of 7 billion people.