I had trouble sleeping last night. Yesterday was a hectic day filled with learning, training, and job hunting, and even though I was exhausted by the end of it all, my mind just would not. shut. off. If you haven’t yet noticed, yes, I’m basically obsessed now with figuring out the game, i.e. the job hunting process. And following the communications training I attended last Monday, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed about my messaging and personal branding. You see, if I really am serious about working in communications, I have to have my shit MORE together. You know, like what’s my elevator pitch for 1) job hunting 2) casual encounters 3) blogging conference, etc. See what I mean? In each scenario, the audience is different, so the message has to adjust accordingly. I know, you feel I’m overthinking this shit. Trust me, I am not. Messaging is everything.

Since I’ve started ProMatch, I’ve honed my job hunting pitch a lot. But then today, at the BlogHer conference, I realized that I still have work to do in the other areas. This morning, I reunited with my friend E. We had met at last year’s BlogHer. She runs the awesome MommyMafia website, and we’ve been in touch throughout the last year. E is extremely savvy and smart. She’ll learn about random tools and then the next thing you know, she’ll have mastered the tools AND posted fresh new content created USING the new tools. That woman is nimble as fuck! Not surprisingly, she’s made amazing progress on the blog over the last year, and I know I’m gonna see some new content on there soon, because I saw her gears churning today! Anyway, this morning E introduced me to some of her blogger friends. But as soon as they asked me what I blogged about, I found myself scrambling and stammering. “Oh, I just blog about my life… I tell stories from my daily life.” From a communications professional’s perspective, that response is so bland and lame! I mean, there was no enthusiasm, no confidence, no oomph! E kindly chimed in that I was an awesome writer with a hilarious, sarcastic slant. And her friend continued, “Yeah, don’t dismiss your blog, it’s not just about your life.” So fucking true. Have I learned nothing these last several months? Why am I not owning this shit? Why am I not celebrating the value I offer through my blog? I don’t know. I have issues. Shrug. More shit to work on. Ugh.

One other thing I realized from the conference today? So many women suffer from imposter’s syndrome– the combo of two debilitating thoughts: 1) the notion that every success is solely attributed to luck and 2) the fear that people will eventually call you out for being unaccomplished and illegitimate. When I read or hear about imposter’s syndrome, it always sounds so ridiculous in its self-sabotaging ways. Yet, that doubt has visited me often, particularly in the last year.

We heard from so many accomplished writers and speakers today. One lady is even a current NYT best-seller, and she still struggles with feeling unworthy. She still worries that she’ll never write another good book again. Sound familiar? I find myself saying to Bubbey: I’ll never find another job again!  And yes, that is a major complaint. I want to work!!! But shit man, self-doubt is so annoyingly persistent!!

So back to the elevator pitch: yeah, whenever I’m on the receiving end of an introduction, I always notice when someone lacks confidence or when someone fumbles or mutters a half-ass reply. I’m not saying every interaction has to be perfect, but shit, those first few seconds are uber critical. So tonight, I’m going to craft my message– a strong, confident, charismatic message and then tomorrow, I will test. That’s right, baby: Iterate, implement, evaluate, repeat. What am I, a stand-up comedienne? Right??

In other news, I saw another one of my fav bloggers today. Flourish in Progress. Not only is she super fucking bad ass, but I just love her honesty about her struggles and vulnerabilities. Her candidness resonates so strongly with me, I swear she can bring tears to my eyes at the drop of a frickin’ dime. And on top of that, she is funny as hell. Definitely one of my favorite discoveries from BlogHer13. Unfortunately, I was too shy to introduce myself today, but I still have tomorrow. She’s way too cool for me, but oh well. I don’t mind being a fangirl. Haha.