I went to the career center today: in the morning, I attended a lab on targeting my resume; in the afternoon, I had a one-on-one meeting with a career advisor. I am so grateful for the NOVA job center: I am learning so much about the art and science of job hunting, but today, I felt a little sad. Sad about this new reality where everything has to be super short and concise, because people “no longer have time.”

I admit. I love the written word. I love using language to describe situations, to paint a picture, to tell a story. I love using words to convey emotions and feelings. I love using cuss words to relieve my stress. 😉 In my cover letters, I try to express my genuine enthusiasm for philanthropy– why I am drawn to it and how I want to be a part of that movement for social change. But so many times now, I’m told to cut things out, to write with more brevity. I understand the advice… writing and editing are never-ending processes, really. You can fine tune shit til the cows come home. That said, sometimes I just want to speak freely without having every single word scrutinized over the value and purpose that it serves. So yes, this afternoon, I was told to strike more sections of my cover letter: Get to the point faster, sooner. People are chomping at the bit.

I’m a very diligent student, so I will make the changes. That said, the defiant, creative writing side of me is fucking frustrated as hell. I think about how as a child, I used to write all my friends weekly. Long-winded tales of teenage woes, familial drama (what’s new) , nerdy, first-world problems. I loved every bit of that experience from picking out the stationery to decorating the envelope… and I loved receiving colorful pieces back in the mail. The last time I was home in Maryland, I found a stash of letters from my high school pen pals. I try to avoid nostalgia as much as possible, but there is just something about these correspondences that I miss terribly.

Nowadays, everyone is in a fucking hurry. I mean sure, I am guilty of impatience as well. But with my blog and with my emails to friends, I try to honor this old tradition. Usually, my friends don’t indulge me in their replies: they schedule a call or meet up instead. But I miss the back and forth. There’s just something about the reading and writing that resonates with me.

But ah, those days are gone now. I actually lamented about it to the career adviser this afternoon. He says that he communicates with his kids via text now. I mean, who the fuck is calling these shots? Who is dictating this? It reminds me of my friend J. We used to work together, and we would email and hang out and shoot the shit after work all the time. Then he went elsewhere, got married, and now he doesn’t even read email anymore. If I want to communicate with him, I can send an email, but I have to follow up with a text to ask him to check his email, and then he’ll respond. Usually though, we just catch up when we meet in person (not as often as I would like). I understand that communication methods are changing, but how am I supposed to cultivate friendships this way without phone and email? Am I supposed to just have conversations via text or in person only? It’s a problem! Am I being too old school about this shit?

Similar deal with my other friend J. After he left our last employer, we kept in touch via email and it was pretty cool pen paling, but then he had a third kid and the emails got shorter and more infrequent. Just makes me sad. Speaking of J, I had lunch with him yesterday– first time in over a year. I was in SF for a training, and we met up afterwards in Berkeley. It was really great to see him. We actually had a frank discussion about how his kids are limiting his life, but I’m hopeful that he will take some steps towards self-preservation. I know, no matter what, I’ll never truly understand the parenthood choice but whatever. I just want to solve problems. I mean, of course you are allowed to complain (that’s just being human), but the real issue is, what are you doing about the problems, you know? So he says he wants to attend Outside Lands. He wants to do lots of things, but “he can’t” because of childcare. Meanwhile, dude and his wife are making beaucoup bucks! Huh?? I know, money isn’t the answer to all things, but shit, it certainly carries a lot of problem-solving weight. Needless to say, I’m convinced that childcare is a solvable problem for them. So I gave him some ideas: we’ll see what happens. Hunkering down for another few years just doesn’t seem like a viable option. Am I being too judgey?

Interestingly, I had an epiphany yesterday. Here I have been wondering who in their right mind would opt for kids (especially the unplanned ones), and I kinda realized that we all make sacrifices for what’s important. For example, my whole job hunting experience. This process has been so damn challenging and exhausting for me, and yet, I am trudging through because there is no other path to getting what I want. Similarly, at the core, people want to be parents. They really celebrate the unique experience, so despite all the hardships and day-to-day difficulties, in the end, most of them would really have it no other way. So maybe I ought to be a bit more respectful and understanding about the challenges of the experience. Eye opener #1 for the week.

Back to my meeting with the adviser: it went well… I just have to do better: tighten up my materials and really, seriously work on selling myself. I have this weird feeling that even though I am getting more and more comfortable with meeting strangers and building rapport quickly, there’s something I could be doing better, more strategically to leverage my networking.

Another revelation I had today was regarding my pitch. You see, prior to all these classes, I really used the cover letter and resume as the way to convince employers to hire me. Now, I’m learning that you just want to hook them enough to bring you in for an interview. Then, the in person session is where you REALLY sell yourself. For me though, all of that assumes that my oral communications skills are stronger than my written right? I still have social anxiety about the in person… I still prefer written communications over oral, but what can I do? Argh!! This is how the game works. Fucking A. So this week, I am trying all sorts of new tweaks and approaches to see if I can improve my chances of getting into round 1. I feel like I’m learning the rules of the new game and trying to unlock the secret. I hope I figure it all out soon though, because I’m getting super antsy.

Tomorrow is mandatory meeting day for ProMatch. Mondays and Thursdays. I’m clocking my service hours as an usher. And then in the afternoon, I’m doing another resume class. Friday and Saturday, I’m going to the BlogHer conference. Yeah, some day, I’ll be a pro blogger/writer. Maybe when I’m 50. Sigh. For now, eye on the prize in philanthropy.