Wow, I can’t believe another week has zipped by. I’ve been continuing the full-court press… My friend J says I’m working a ton; I’m just not getting paid. For some reason, her comment makes me think: this must be what motherhood feels like. So yeah, after beating myself up last week for not getting to round 2 of my “dream job,” I tried really hard to pour my energy into the path ahead. You know what they say about spoiled milk. Thankfully, I also had some encouraging conversations with friends that helped push me to a healthier conclusion: it’s not me, it’s them. Yup, the total opposite of that popular breakup line, right?

Last weekend was good. Pretty uneventful, but very relaxing. Our neighbors, who had moved in many moons ago, had us over for afternoon drinks and snacks. I know, we’ve been living right next door for probably seven months now; thankfully, they caved first and showed some initiative. 🙂 And my goodness, what a lovely family! Both hubby and wife are in tech, and they have a very sweet daughter, who loves animals. She’s always playing with their chickens and petting the cat. Over the last several months, I’d actually bumped into the family multiple times. Early on, I could really tell the wife has a soft spot for animals. Remy would always tromp through their front lawn… and believe it or not, some people get super uptight about dogs peeing on their lawn or in their flower beds. Well, F never cared one iota… she was only concerned about how Remy was doing. It’s funny how reactions to tiniest situations reveal so much about one’s personality. When she learned that Remy had died, she was so empathetic. Whenever she sees Martin, she asks how he’s doing. She’s so very considerate.

When I told E and F that I was looking for work, both jumped in immediately with offers to help. I mean, here we were: they knew nothing about me and my qualifications or credentials, but they both stepped up anyway, offering to assist through connections or whatever, in any way they could. It was so kind and refreshing! The husband, who’d himself gone through an extensive job search a few years back, said he remembered how challenging and discouraging that whole experience was… how easy it was to take every rejection personally, as a reflection of yourself, as some mark of your failure. Their acknowledgement and generosity resonated so strongly with me that day. And later that night, John also remarked about how unexpected that was… we were really inspired to be better, more thoughtful and generous people.

Of course, like a true nerd, I looked to apply this new life lesson like immediately.  And where better than at ProMatch?!?! Haha. I have to say, the mandatory meetings are very challenging for me: after all, I am extremely impatient. That said, the workshops have been superb, and I am definitely warming up to a handful of people there. They don’t know it yet, but I’m going to target them soon to be on my Success Team, which is a support/accountability group that meets weekly to share the job hunting experience and help get through the blockages. Yup, I’m already cessing out the A-Team players. What can I say, playas gonna play! I need to create my own little tribe, man.

So all this week, I’ve been listening to what opportunities people are seeking, and running through all my contacts in my head, brainstorming where I can offer help. I’ve already “refreshed my network” with five people– kinda like checking in with people from the past, updating them on what’s new, and seeing how they are… I mean, it sounds all calculated and manipulative like I’m just trying to use people, but actually, I am very much a relationship cultivator who likes to stay up to speed with people. Plus, who doesn’t like to be contacted by someone they used to like and be friends with? It rarely happens to me, but when it has happened, I love hearing from past friends.

Likewise, a few people in ProMatch have connected me with their contacts, and it has worked out beautifully. And reading through their email and seeing HOW they made the introduction, I realized that I was being way too stingy about introductions. In the past, I was reluctant to introduce my contacts to a stranger, because I didn’t want to necessarily endorse someone I didn’t know in front if my trusted network. But now, I see that it’s just a simple introduction. The job seeker will still have to earn the job. For example, this week, one of my ProMatch mates emailed her contact who was the previous AGC at one of the family foundations. She simply said, “I know a nice lady (linked to my profile) who’s interested in opportunities at foundations. Might you consider connecting with her to share your insights about working at XYZ Foundation and in philanthropy in general.” Done. So I actually spoke to the AGC yesterday, and shit, she was the friendliest person EVER. By the end of the 20 minute conversation, we were both so sad about her moving to MN, because we totally would have hung out and done yoga together. I mean, sure, I’m still unemployed but wow, I see now that this is how the process grows and builds towards that end, right? And even if a job doesn’t appear at the end of the rainbow, I’m still thrilled to have met another great person!