My trip to Wilmington really reminded me of something my friend G once shared: You can’t make new old friends. How true. My week-long reunion with N really highlighted how with old friends, you can lose touch and become separated by distance, but when you meet again, it’s just like old times.

I think for most of us, our childhood and adolescent years are such formative periods in shaping who we become as adults… N was there when I had my nervous breakdowns in middle school, she was there when I was bullied, when I had daily shouting matches/cry fests/confrontations with my parents over their strict style of parenting, when my relationship with my brother was great and then shitty then estranged. She taught me about tampons, she introduced me to theater (Miss Saigon at the Kennedy Center), she helped shave my head (inverted bob) before my second date with John in downtown Frederick… and she learned to read me so well– to clue in on cues without me even saying a word. When she picked me up this last time at the airport, she pulled up to the curb with the music blasting per her usual method of enjoying the tunes, but as soon as I got in, she turned that shit waaay down. She remembered that my volume threshold is super low.

And even as we have made different choices as adults, I see that she still pays real attention and observes my (and other people’s) reactions. As a 30-something, I have grown much more flexible about pushing my boundaries and stepping outside of my comfort zone, but even though I have the capacity to do that, N recognizes these actions as conscious adjustments, and she considerately doesn’t let my discomfort sit for too long. Another example: She knows that, even though I am currently unemployed by choice, it’s a difficult situation for me to not feel productive or purposed or useful. She seemed to know just what to say to lend that bit of reassurance. These are the gestures, the spoken and unspoken words, the considerations that come largely with time, with really seeing and understanding another person. I am reminded that old friendships and relationships are truly treasures to cultivate, cherish, and honor. I am thankful.