When my parents were here for their visit, I was fully expecting to be nagged about a number of issues: 1) my child-free lifestyle 2) my unemployment 3) my lack of a “legit” degree, i.e. medicine, law, or business. On day 2, my father and my husband had a lengthy conversation out on the patio. In general, my father is just a curious and inquisitive person, so I really wasn’t all that surprised when I overheard him asking John about his work, his company, and how the business was growing…

After the conversation, my father gathered all of us together and said that he just finished a nice conversation with John. And he was very happy to see that things are going well, and we have plans for the future. I mean, I was a bit surprised, because my parents know I’m a planning freak. And they know I’m a responsible person!!

What I realized though, was that something about his conversation with John offered reassurance. Maybe it was a sexist perspective about the man taking care of the woman (perhaps also a deeply-ingrained Chinese and/or American cultural pressure), or maybe it’s simply a parental thing. Even my friends admit that their parents give them unsolicited advice and opinions, no matter how long its been since they grew up and flew the coop.

I think of that car commercial: a dad sits in the passenger seat of the car telling his 8-year old daughter all the things to watch for when she drives… The camera pans away and goes back to the girl, but it turns out she’s a teenager, rolling her eyes, saying, “Dad, I know!” I think parents always view their children as kids (and not adults)!

Needless to say, I’m thankful the conversation occurred early on in the trip: I am convinced it did enough to spare me further unsolicited parental advice/commentary– at least this time around.