Tears of Pain

I’ve been really sick the last 48 hours. What I thought to be a simple sore throat on Tuesday turned into a full blown throat infection that fucked up my face, not to mention my breathing, eating, drinking, and speech. Fucking A. I was so excited to work this weekend, bc I got a killer open house two miles from home. Friday night, I hosted it open and I was already feeling uncomfortable but man, on Saturday, I woke up and my throat was like partially blocked from all the swelling. Everytime I swallowed, my face winced in pain. Oh god, it was awful. I called the advice nurse and she suggested I go in to see the doctor. I mean, seriously. The pain was so bad, I was crying and nothing gave me relief. I tried icing, all that honey/lemon, ACV, hot water, cold water… everything. I was so pissed I had to cancel the open house. But shit man, it was a good thing I did bc the following 24 hrs before the penicillin kicked in was even worse.

The doctor didn’t see white spots on my throat but he definitely noticed the swelling and said antibiotics would be his method of treatment regardless of whether it swabbed positive for strep. I’ve never had a sore throat on just ONE SIDE. So weird. My self-diagnosis seemed to suggest some form of tonsillitis but I dunno, the doc didn’t say anything. He didn’t seem that worried, but shit man, my speech was slurred and everything. He said if I didn’t see improvement by Monday, I’d have to go to the emergency room. Great.

So Saturday all day I was in bed, crying from the pain. It hurt so damn bad to swallow. I was all jacked up on Advil plus the antibiotics. I had planned a short getaway for us to Lodi wine country to celebrate our 21st anniversary of togetherness. All canceled. I swear I get sick at the most inconvenient times. So yeah, slept all through Saturday and most of today. But just like clockwork, I felt noticeably better at the 24-hr mark. Thank fucking goodness for western meds. The face swelling went down and I was able to eat Bubbey’s homemade chicken soup. Whew. It was really  bad.

Then dad called and he had some weird heart palpitations on Friday, so he went to the doctor. He did the heart monitoring and will get results on Tuesday or Wednesday. Doctor said it was some idiopathic benign erithmea or something. Meanwhile, dad is dragging ass still on updating the living will and establishing the advance directives. I got all frustrated with him: it’s clearly paralysis from overwhelm, but it’s like he can’t even communicate to me what needs to be done so I can help. It’s super frustrating. He says mom’s condition is worse and now his sister (my aunt) is bathing her and washing her hair. WTF? I mean, I just saw mom in July. Are they over-coddling? This makes no sense. And if she indeed needs that much care, why aren’t they applying for the professional help? He is unable to explain clearly to me why these decisions are playing out this way. So I contact the American consulate to inquire about advanced directives… and whether there is something equivalent there. No answer except for a list of English-speaking doctors. Fine, so no number and I email one of the docs. Everything takes so long to find the goddamn answer.

I call my mom and no one answers the fucking phone. Call my aunt. Text her on Line (mobile app). No reply. This is what I’m saying; how the fuck are we living in 2017 and it takes like 24 hrs to reach someone??? Ridiculous. Meanwhile, stupid brother keeps emailing dad all this hyperbaric oxygen chamber shit. Ugh. I just can’t take his bullshit anymore. Seriously. Get the hell out of our lives already, you useless POS.

Tomorrow is Monday again. Another weekend lost and an endless list of shit to do. Oh well. Grateful to be better today. I’ll just have to get to the other shit one by one. Anniversary weekend in Lodi moved to next weekend. Maybe I need to ease up on the work just a little. Work smarter not harder and all that. Sigh. Tired again. Time for bed.

Troubling Times

Well, it seems that while I have had my head mostly buried in Silicon Valley real estate, the world has continued to descend farther and farther into chaos. I’ve never truly been an optimist and yet, each and every day, I am appalled by this downward spiral that just keeps getting more and more egregious. People are speaking out, and I am grateful to those, esp those who are privileged and white, for calling things out. Whether we like it or not, there are dynamics of power at play. And though it’s important for all to speak out, not all actors exert the same influence and impact.

I’m very tired these days (and now I’m coming down with a sore throat), but I still have thoughts. I don’t feel a need to write my own as I think many of us are on the same page. So I’m going to re-post what this stylist/blogger I follow has to say. All of us who don’t work in politics or social justice directly, we can oftentimes put on our blinders and go about our daily lives. But things are happening. We are witnessing incredibly scary times right now and as much passion as we have for our work, we have to remember that we are a part of something larger. There is a fire burning within us– for work/family/whatever AND for things beyond that, for things beyond our microcosms of complacency and comfort. The terror has got to stop: Society must be intolerant of intolerance.

From the Style by Emily Henderson Blog: My Thoughts on White Supremacy and Last Weekend.

Ain’t About that Life

So J’s youngest sister S turned 40 this week and last weekend she had a big bash. The key takeaways from her party? 1. She is one helluva woman. Lots of friends. Surrounded by lots of love. She’s incredibly generous and gracious and that is reflected by the tremendous turnout. 2. I ain’t about that party life.

First, I was nervous enough about attending a party in the city. What can I say, I’m a sheltered suburban princess who is getting softer by the minute. Blame the overly protective parents and privileged upbringing. Blame living in Mountain View. I dunno. Naturally, the party was held at a bar… another unfamiliar setting for me. Yes, I’m over 40 but I can admit that bars and lounges have just never really been my setting. But whatever, it wasn’t my bday, it wasn’t my shindig, so what the heck, I just sucked up the discomfort and went.

So the thing is, I am all about the social awkwardness and discomfort. I mean, I have done my fair share of striking up conversations with strangers, right? Door-knocking, flyering, standing outside the Whole Foods, whatever… I tried REALLY hard to have conversations with strangers at the party. They did not go well. I mean, I survived and I can force myself through ANYTHING, but the final note was not a good one. I somehow got trapped talking to a dude who was super preachy. Honestly, at first, I thought we would be on the same page bc he was all into the leadership guru philosophies: you know, have passion, be open minded, live and grow, etc. He’s a life coach, btw. But as the conversation continued, I got an earful of preachiness. Holy cow. I said I was tired and kinda talked out— ready to go home. By that point (Saturday evening 11:30pm), I had spoken to maybe 50 people that day. I had hosted an open house earlier that day and it was especially busy, with over 40 people coming through. Then you know, I was trying to be social at the bday bash. I talked to a LOT of people. Well apparently, being tired and exhausted from people interaction was not the right mindset. I got a talking to about my bad attitude and my shitty perspective. Then I was told that I should go to Burning Man, bc it’s not at all about drugs or sex… it’s just about love. Pure. love. Um, okay…

I’m glad we went to the party, bc this was an occasion to celebrate S. But man, for as many uncomfortable social situations I have been in, I have never so consistently felt out of place and awkward as that night. I kept trying to decipher whether the mismatch was due to city dwellers vs. suburbanites, introverts vs. extroverts, single people vs. partnered people, under 40 vs. over 40, nerdy people vs. cool people… I dunno. I just could not figure it out. But definitely, I ain’t about that life. Holy crap, the worlds were colliding.

Also, it was a wig party. Now given my history with Sasha Fierce, you’d think I’d be all up in that fake hair shit. I tried my best to be in the mood. But then that fake head of hair was itchy and hot as hell. You know me and my sensitive skin. Back to my bubble, pronto!! 🙂

Feeling Irked

Well, you know the way I roll: there’s no sugarcoating from me! Today was a shit day. OMFG. Yesterday, I actually took the day off, bc J’s eldest sister came to town for his youngest sister’s 40th blowout weekend. J had been asking whether I was going to spend the day with him and E in Sonoma, and I was hemming and hawing… Why? Bc like I’ve been saying: I am in startup mode. I am in that phase where I don’t want to eat and I don’t want to pee. I just want to focus on work. Now, I know that any normal human being would really jump at the chance to hit up wine country for a day: I mean, gorgeous setting, fine wine, delicious food, great company… what moron would even have to give this two seconds’ thought?  What can I say, I am a rare bird. The fear of losing out on potential opportunities to build my business eats at me. Maybe it’s an irrational fear. I dunno, but I have to succeed at this. As I have been reiterating all along: this is my last chance at success.

Needless to say, I did take a step back on Tuesday night to re-examine my mental position on all of this. And one good thing about me is that I have self-awareness and I’m willing to call myself out on that shit. I see that my work obsession is not healthy and obviously, I know (via my parents) that work intensity has serious social/family consequences down the road. So, I decided to just chill the fuck out for a day and do Sonoma with J and E on Thursday.

Indeed, it was a great day. We did so much: ate insanely tasty foods, enjoyed the slower pace, the beautiful rustic scenery… I’m so glad I spent the day with them. That said, it made for a LONG day, and after I got home, my THIRD laptop had delivered and needed setting up. Just a quick debrief on the tech situation: As you know, my Acer laptop (4 y/o) crapped out during my first transaction in July. I then purchased an HP Envy 13. I loved it but then the audio kept blipping out. I spent a lot of time troubleshooting– uninstalled, reinstalled, blah, blah. HP said to ship it back for repair for 10 business days. In order to still have a working computer, I purchased a second HP thinking I could move my files to the new one and just return the defective one. After I got the second HP all set up, I experienced the same exact problem as with the first HP– defective audio component. That really fucked my confidence in the brand and the model. So then I wiped the second one back to factory settings and returned. I then ordered a Dell XPS 13.

Long story short, I was up until 1am last night setting up the new Dell: installing all my extra software, setting up email, bookmarks, Office, etc. Everything was done except that I could NOT get Microsoft OneDrive to work. With all my laptop woes, I had moved all my work files to the cloud, and OneDrive was my go-to tool. I’d been using and loving it since July. But I could not get it to sync on the new machine! I spent hours with online troubleshooting. WTF?!?!? OneDrive worked fine on my HP. Finally, I went to bed. Up early again the next day and still no resolution. OMFG. Why is this happening?

I proceeded to spend another 2 hours this morning on the phone with Dell then with Costco tech support. Dell had me “register” the new machine for like 30 minutes only to learn that they wouldn’t provide free support for software issues. They kept trying to upsell me on some tech package. SMH. I was really at the end of my rope this morning. Finally, I wiped the new computer operating system to start again.

Then I went to the office, taking my HP. At the office, as I was trying to print out my open house files, OneDrive suddenly stopped working for the HP. WTF is going on today? I look online and turns out OneDrive had been down for the last 24 hours. ARGH!!!! And I had already wiped all my work on the Dell. Seriously. It was one of those days.

Then, I had a colleague who’s been clamoring to go door knocking together. She’s scared to go door knocking, bc she thinks people will abduct her into their home. Yes. Meanwhile, she’ll readily host open houses ALONE and not worry about her safety then. Makes no sense. Whatever, I tell her I’m going door knocking/flyering today and she can join. She ends up bailing and then I don’t get to the open house until late. I had already printed out so many flyers. So, in 15 minutes before my house was set to open, I hit up like 15 houses on the same street. Then, the open house began…

I got about six parties. I worked with a new lender whom I met recently. She’s a Vietnamese loan officer with US Bank, and we get along really well. I’m thinking she’s going to be my new go-to co-host. We talk about everything: real estate, loans, makeup, shoes, bags, purse organizers… the whole shebang. Funny thing: she remarked last weekend that she has co-hosted open houses with so many agents and she has NEVER met someone who has an Open House Kit. She likes that I’m organized. Also, I earned some big time props last weekend for co-hosting an open house in Seven Trees, San Jose. Before my house (with the bathroom debacle), I was helping my colleague open up a fixer upper in a shady part of town… So I was telling this loan officer how it was a major dump. Turns out, she is familiar with the area bc her father lives near there. She told me today: “Girl, if you are hosting places like that in the ghetto, you are definitely low maintenance.” Haha, music to my ears. Of course, I was very nervous and uncomfortable the whole time. You see, I had seen the pics of the dive beforehand and knew it was bad, but then I was trying not to be all “princessy.” Shit, when I arrived on site and walked up to the house, I could have sworn the place was being occupied by squatters. SMH. Never again, I tell you.

Tomorrow, I’m hosting the same 3/2 ranch home I hosted last weekend. The owner just lowered the price $25k. Hope I get some buyers for it.

Marvels of Medicine

Well another busy week has come and gone. After my candid camera open house incident last Saturday, I hopped a red eye to Wilmington NC to help my childhood friend with her knee replacement surgery.

Long story short, the good news is that surgery went well, and she is already up and moving with the help of a walker. I mean, the entire knee except for the patella was replaced so to me, what another fucking marvel of modern medicine. I was worried at first about her getting the procedure done in small town Wilmington but as it turned out, the hospital staff were incredibly nice and with Wilmington being a big retirement spot, lots of knee replacements are getting done! She seemed to be in very capable hands.

The downside of this trip was basically the realities of adulting. When you're a working professional without a spouse, without many close friends, plus you don't have a workable relationship with your mother, shit gets real real fast.

N is probably my longest friend but she has quirks that make her difficult, esp when she is under excruciating pain and you're a caretaking newb… Man, I was losing my own damn patience, of which there was very little in the first place. Honestly, some days I think it's a shitty deal to be a responsible doer kind of personality. I mean, look at my brother. All he has to ever care or worry about is himself. Doesn't even have to provide tech support, buy plane tickets, call vendors and contractors, research random things, provide any kind of help or support to anyone. And he just skates on by…. Fucking bastard. Oh well. My life is what it is. I'm privileged and lucky on so many other levels. Interestingly, my father shared a Chinese saying the last time they were here: the one who is most competent does the most. I have seen how this plays out with my father and his marriage and family. Sigh.

Anyway, I'm relieved N's surgery went well and it was good to be there as a buffer between her and her mother. I, of all people, understand that. I know too that it meant a lot to have me there, bc N was anxious. Still, eventually, I had to go home, and now she and her mother are left to figure recovery out together.

The whole thing just really highlighted for me how much a spouse contributes to a relationship. I mean, having a partner in life isn't just all about the good times. There are situations where you really need help and support, and so this trip made me see that all those compromises I sometimes complain about… they are worth it bc ultimately, love is a beautiful thing. It requires a shit ton of work so I won't say it's a gift that just gets handed to you, but there is so much comfort and security in knowing that someone really has your back during your most vulnerable moments. Even with all the good friends that I have, I can say with certainly that few people can really fill that space in urgent times of need. I used to always say friends are the family we choose for ourselves. That's only partially true. Sure, friends are helpful and wonderful assisting with the day to day but man, when health problems and life/death shit come into play, it's a different beast. I can use myself as an example. I'm super great friends with J&J, but when they wanted us to be custodians for their kid should anything happen, I declined. That's just not something I'm going to take on. I mean, if I'm not willing to take on kids for my own parents, I'm not going to do it for friends. I guess that really highlights how there are still differences and limits.

I was eager to help N but thankfully, it was a very short period… From her perspective, she definitely could have used more help, you know? Anyway, the recovery is going to be a bitch. She definitely has a very long road ahead. She's off work for a month. Her rental apartment is on the second floor of an old Victorian house. The stairs are crazy narrow and uneven. Thankfully, her mother's house is all one level and there is enough space… but they might just drive each other bonkers. I dunno. It will just have to be worked out.

Meanwhile, in vanity news, my face is all kinds of breaking out. The cysts are back. Of course I got shit sleep while I was in NC. It was seriously like being back in the hospital with my grandfather when he fell. There was minimal down time. Between the constant discomfort requiring adjustments or meds or water or icing or re-propping of pillows and towels… there was a lot going on. Maybe if I had kids, all of this would be NBD. I mean, obviously N's the one going through the thick of it but fuck man, caretaking really kinda sucked.

I'm now on my flight back home. I'm beat, but I'm slated for another open house this weekend. Like I said, I'm still in that mode where I just can't be bothered to chill the fuck out. Not yet.

Candid Camera Strikes Again

Before my flight out to North Carolina on Saturday night, I hosted an open house in Santa Clara…

What can I say, it was bound to happen: I got a bad tummy ache and had to use the bathroom pronto at my vacant and staged open house. The toilet clogged, and I had no suitable tools. After using a bent up cardboard sign without success, I had only one option right before the doors were set to open. It was NBD thanks to my solid waste engineering background… That said, the problem did NOT resolve.

Then, I had to wait three hours for my open house to end before going next door (the seller lives there) to ask for a plunger. Instead of the old grandpa guy coming to the door, the seller's Dave Navarro son answered. He was chill about my request, but seriously, where are the hidden cameras?!?😫

The plunger resolved the problem but man, what a day! #siliconvalleyrealestate #shithappens Literally. #donttouchthetowels JK!

Manipulator

Well, now I am royally pissed. I spoke with my father a few hours ago to follow up on whether mom started the Parkinson's meds. Dad sounded extremely frustrated and tired. After peppering him with questions, including "Why the fuck isn't she on the new meds?", he said mom wants to only take the deer placenta supplements, and she has decided to stay up in Taipei (even though their retirement home is in Kaohsiung). He said she is going to do what she wants to do. And then I got it. Fucking Johnny! Goddamn asshole.

So now it's almost 1am, and I am fuming. So goddamn angry. Especially having recently watched Betting on Zero, a documentary about a hedge fund manager going after Herbalife for their questionable practices, I'm so freaking. enraged. I started drafting an email:

***

http://bettingonzeromovie.com/

You are a worldclass manipulator. It is beyond me why mom much less anyone should listen to you and follow ANY of your health advice when you have zero medical training and zero science background. You act like you are some Buddhist lover of humanity, but you have only given her and our family a lifetime of pain. Your bullshit is never ending.

Bc of your special status as the first born, you have the unique privilege of influencing her decision-making such that she is choosing to trust a scammer like you over people who have loved and cared for her her entire life. 

Western medicine and pharmaceutical companies are not to blame for killing people. It's people like you who are taking advantage of the elderly and the weak, promising them hope and miracles and unicorns all while misleading, robbing, and isolating them from those who truly love them. I am not blind to your selfish motivations.

If doctors and drug companies are scamming people for money, wtf are YOU doing? Your product costs $400/bottle/month in Taiwan where the average monthly income is $1,300. Your shit isn't even covered by insurance so way to make this "life-changing supplement" accessible. If your intentions with mom are so good, why don't you just charge her at your own product cost? You are an opportunist and a fucking liar. Everything you involve yourself with is cult-like, insincere, and fake. I will never trust you, and it's too bad mom is cognitively impaired and unable to make sound decisions.

In case you need a reminder, I am familiar with your track record. World Finance Group. Your bullying, "Buddhist" club that kept urging me to pay an annual membership fee even though I don't even live in the city to participate in its membership meetings and activities. Now this Riway deer placenta nonsense.

Mom needs to take her Parkinson's meds, you asshole. I took her to a legit neurologist, not some voodoo quack David Koresh "master."

Let's not forget how you have subjected her to nearly half a century of heartache– that which surely has contributed to her emotional, mental, and physical decline. How convenient that now you can step in and offer her a "solution"… and an expensive one at that. I have critical thinking skills and independent judgement, and I will fight you to the end.
***

I'm going to sleep in this, but I'm telling you. Is it any wonder why I have sworn off kids? He is a fucking neverending nightmare. I mean, he has now made Taiwan entirely toxic for me. I do not feel comfortable having my mother live under his influence, and I don't want her getting medical care there either. The medicine there is just not as advanced as in the States. I'm feeling like I want them to move to California esp bc I don't want them dealing with my con-man brother. Even if they can filter his bullshit, it's not good for them.

But what can I say. My mother is retarded when it comes to defending her son. And if she insists on staying there and being manipulated, no one can help her. She's a lost cause. Man, is this why dad has dragged ass about moving there full time? Was he trying to limit her exposure? I dunno. So damn complicated.

Can’t Be Bothered

I was lamenting to my friend M the other day that being in startup mode makes me hyper sensitive to inconvenience. Like I’m so much in the zone, that I just don’t want to be bothered with anything. Examples? A trip to Europe with Bubbey. Or maintaining my side shave. Or going away for the weekend. Or eating lunch. Or continuing that skateboarding class. Or cooking at home. Or getting a dog, even. I just want to focus on building my biz.

And something about that feels so weird. I mean, not so much the vacation or hairstyle or that stuff: I’ve always been reluctant to take time off and leave work… but definitely something seems amiss with the dog thing. I mean, I love dogs so damn much. They have been such a huge part of my life, and to think that I don’t want to experience that relationship and that joy simply bc I don’t want to be distracted feels really narrow-minded. It bugs me too that already we have talked about getting a dog first around my bday in June and then that got postponed to August and now we’re talking about pushing it off again…

I really want to understand why this was happening. Sure, I’m very serious about my business. But seeing as I have been Rovering since Marty died, obviously, I can handle dog care AND the biz concurrently. Then, I was thinking about this mild fear that the new dog won’t live up to my expectations. I mean, after all, I am my parents’ daughter, so the comparison game is all up in my blood. Is that fair to the new doggie that s/he be compared to Remy and Martin, my angels on Earth? And then of course, there are the logistics. I mean, caring for an animal is a big commitment for another 10-15 years and with the overseas relatives and elderfolks and what have you, it can get complicated. Nothing we haven’t juggled before, but like I said, I’m super sensitive about my lifestyle right now.

M said maybe this all just means I need to give myself more time. I’ll do it when I’m ready. But I’m really bothered by my aversion to inconvenience. It’s such a shitty attitude! Some things are worth the bother! For example, I’ve always complained about going home for Christmas and/or blowing my PTO visiting family in Taiwan… It’s always SO much trouble, traveling during the holidays and shuttling around from place to place. But in retrospect, what I’ve realized this year is that if I had given in to my feelings of annoyance and dread, I would have missed some very important final moments with people we love. I did those things prompted by obligation and by compromise but ultimately, it was the right decision. And I feel like getting a dog might be a similar vein.

The point is, as much as I value independence and freedom to do whatever the fuck I want, I’m also a firm believer that there is value in the struggle. Discomfort = growth. Plus, you know the Chinese LOVE the concept of “eating bitter.” The more sacrifice, the sweeter the reward. Ha!

Long story short, I started looking at the puppy porn again this evening. I got Remy when she was six months and Marty we got when he was like 2 y/o. I always thought the next dog would still be an adult. But then I started perusing Copper’s Dream. OMFG. I mean, look at these faces. Already I have like three or four PUPPIES on my short list. Look how beautiful Rhea is!! Great Dane/Pointer. She’s gonna be biggins. Or maybe we’ll do the foster-to-adopt route with Zoey 2. Shit man, it’s like midnight and now I have a major case of puppy fever!!!

Practically speaking, we do have a lot of travel coming up: Wilmington this month, then Seattle/Vancouver and Austin in September, then Taiwan (maybe Seoul enroute) in November… I’m running out of time with my Companion Pass and I want to hit up Portland again, maybe Idaho, Chicago, and Wisconsin… Eek. And work: I gotta get more deals!! Argh. We’ll just have to juggle and make it all fit somehow. Sometimes, the juice is worth the squeeze.

Another Weekend, Another Open House

So I spoke with my bud G recently, and she asked me how much I was working. I always feel like I can be more efficient than I am, so I kinda just threw out 45-55 hrs. I mean, sure, I’ve been saying that I am in Startup Mode, but I dunno: I haven’t really been tallying my hours and it’s kinda hard for me to estimate if I don’t really have productivity/results, you know?

So afterwards, I asked John just to see what his gauge was. He was like, “Um, it’s way more than that. I mean, what else have you been doing other than real estate?” Ok, touche. Yes, I seriously have been living, breathing, eating real estate. So fine. He guesstimated at least 70 hrs/week. I suppose I have been working every day of the week. And like today, I had a buyer consult in the morning followed by my open house, followed by research/emails all evening to try and “win the buyers” before their decision tomorrow…

It’s weird, bc I really do lose track of time. Like both my dad and Bubbey are telling me to step away and get some rest. But I’m in the zone! And there’s always so much to think about. I suppose the good news is that I am liking all this stuff. The bad news is, I’m really concerned about scoring my next deal, esp now that I will be away for seven days in North Carolina. I have a major fear of losing momentum.

My buyer consult this morning went well. At least I felt it did. I was meeting a Chinese couple– the guy used to work with Bubs. And Bubs, on learning that they were researching investment properties, actually plugged me to them! OMG, J and I got into a fight about it too, bc I was relaxing a few days ago and didn’t reply immediately to the guy’s email to set up a meeting. In fact, I was crafting a reply within 15-20 minutes of getting his message, and I was proofreading my reply just as I always do (I used to work in communications, for fuck’s sake!), and Bubs jumped on me about taking too damn long. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I was so goddamn pissed. I ask him to do a few things and he drags ass for DAYS and eventually never even gets my requests done. Now he’s harping on me about taking 20 minutes? Fuck off. I was so angry by the audacity. Seriously. I’ve been busting my ass, doing real estate since November. He plugs me to a friend/acquaintance for maybe the THIRD time ever, and I’m supposed to drop everything? I was SUPER angry.

Anyway, I met with the couple this morning. We had a good intro conversation for nearly an hour. I mean, the conversation flowed naturally and easily, but of course, I had anxiety all last night. Couldn’t sleep then woke up with all kinds of bowel issues. I crammed a bunch of data and stats before 9 am. I’m telling you, I never know what to expect so I over prepare like a crazy woman.

Anyway, I tried to do what Bubbey suggested to me before, which is to demonstrate my knowledge/competence through storytelling and anecdotes rather than just unemotional, factual statements. So for example, we talked about preparing strong offer packages and I mentioned what I did with my last buyers to help them win. Then we talked about crime/safety and I shared how someone at my open house was all concerned about seeing trash scavengers or RVs parked on the street. I explained how the crime reports/heat maps provide some information but ultimately, safety is subjective. People have different tolerances: like scavengers and RVs would freak my parents out but most tech millennials I encounter at the open houses don’t seem to mind a little bit of scruff in the ‘hood. And they laughed when I mentioned my safety-obsessed parents bc they could relate.

They were also concerned about HOA docs and inspection reports. I said that part of my role is to identify what issues are serious and legit and worth negotiating with the seller. I explained that a lot of times first-time buyers worry about every little thing that comes up in the reports, bc they don’t really have a grasp of its severity and the cost to fix it. I once combed through a report that said the electrical panel was a brand that had malfunction issues. Is it a fire hazard? Does it need to be replaced? Look: this is not a new house. The sellers have been living with that panel and using it for six years without issue. Not going to be addressed.

They asked how well I know the neighborhoods in San Mateo. It’s been eight years since I lived there but I have several friends in the area and all of them live in condo/TH communities. Then I rattled those places off… so yeah, I really tried to elaborate with personal info rather than just give yes/no answers.

After the meeting, I drove off to prep for my open house. It was another scorcher of a day and the property had no A/C. Once again, placing my signs was a beotch. MV is such a pain bc there are no good places to park near the intersections, so I have to drive a ways off, find a lot or space, and then walk back or cross the train tracks or whatever. And my Dr. Scholls loafers are giving me blisters, so there’s that. And then at the open house, it was busy yesterday but totally dead today until the final hour. Then a bunch of people came at once and I didn’t gather all their info bc I was talking to one couple while the other two ran off. And then, every. damn. time when I’m closing up shop after 4pm, someone shows up wanting to have a look. Mind you, all the lights are off and I packed away my flyer and snacks and supplies… fucking A. So annoying but I always let them look. Needless to say, I never finish my open houses on time and then I’m like hot, sweating, hungry, tired and I have to get those fucking signs again. Yeah, I was cranky today.

After I got home, I had to write the post-session report (I always get compliments from the listing agents for my detail and thoroughness) and then follow up with visitors. Around 7pm, I took a break to watch Married at First Sight and cram my piehole. Then, I was thinking more about my buyer consult this morning. After our meeting, I had sent a thank you email and they replied that they would be making a decision tomorrow. I was going to just wait and hear the news tomorrow. Then, OCD Vix kicked in. I mean, have I done everything possible to get the gig? Nope. So I culled together all these stats and ran a bunch of searches and scanned through properties. Seriously. Excel spreadsheets, line graphs, then the explanatory email, edited a gabillion times, blah, blah. Next thing you know it’s 11 pm. But I HAD to do it, bc I knew if I got bad news tomorrow, I would only beat myself up about it.

Oh btw, laptop update. You know how I got a new laptop bc my other one wonked out in the middle of my transaction? Well new lappie finally arrived (a week late) and I immediately fell in love with it. Now it has an audio problem. A component issue that can only be repaired by shipping it in and by being out of commission for two weeks. Um, my laptop is my livelihood. I cannot have NO laptop for two weeks. HP would not help me out, so now I had to purchase a second laptop so that I can move my data from this one to the new one and then return the defective one. Meanwhile, the second laptop still hasn’t shipped. Argh. Technology fail, but at least I can return bc it’s within the return period.

Ok, time to wind it down.